NeverNeverLand
by kyabetsu
Summary: Sequel to HANAMI -- much shorter. They're going home... CHAPTER 17 -- (SCHWARTZENNAGGER voice) TOLD you i'd be BACH.
1. Loose Shadow

So I only own that which I made up: Cabbage, Pipes, Shima and Sterling.  Everything else is as much mine as the outer rings of Saturn, which is to say, not at all.  This drama/soap opera/rambling fanfiction is the sequel to HANAMI.  I strongly suggest reading that first.  I know HANAMI had a lot of chapters, but they were short, and if you can't stomach my writing style, at least you'll know before you waste any more time with this fic.  Um.  This one will cover a less ambitious amount of time.  Until I learn to combine good story and brevity, that's the best I can do.  I do hope you enjoy it…

Kyabetsu presents 

Never-NeverLand 

Chapter 1

April was late.  Raphael leaned with his elbows on the front porch railing.  He'd watched the sunset, and the moonrise.  The stars were so bright out here in the country.  You couldn't see the Milky Way, but then, he'd only ever seen that once: long ago in Japan.  His thoughts didn't linger on the stars, though.  She was loose in his mind.  He hated her.  He admired her.  He wanted her.  He wished he'd never met her.  

            Cleaning up after the campfire, Leo had found a way to corner him.  Raph had been so caught up in his own private fantasies that he just hadn't noticed Leo's fierce glare.  Though his brother's words caught him like a slap across the face.  "You're really disgusting, you know that?  I saw you watching her.  I know what you were thinking.  That's the LAST thing she needs.  She and her sisters have been through hell and back.  We promised them a safe place, and you dishonor yourself and the rest of your family the first chance you get!  You DON'T HIT those who CAN"T FIGHT BACK. "  Raphael's euphoria shattered.   Leo looked at his brother in open amazement.  "You forgot didn't you?  You broke her jaw, you insult her, tackle her, THEN you rely on her word to get you out of the mess – AND YOU FORGOT?! "  Leo shook his head.  "Your behavior reflects on us all, Raphael.  It's past time you learned some control."  Raphael pushed past his brother, but the damage had been done.  

'Leonardo, the fuckin' free-lance conscience, goddamn him!  Nosey piece of shit!  I hate that tight-assed, tea-baggin, whore-smackin', ass-kissin', shit-spoutin', fuckin' mother-fucker.  He's so far off fuckin' base.  Some one should take their fuckin' fist and ram it down his fuckin' throat.  Knock that sanctimonious son of a bitch right off his fuckin' piece of shit high horse.'  Raphael hung his head, willing himself to quit thinking of her skin, her eyes, the feel of her heavy breathing beneath him.  She was strong too; took his anger and didn't back down.  'But then you hit her.  Then she hurt herself WORSE gettin' your ass out of the fire.  Shit Raphael, a day later and you're ready to tackle her again.  You can be such a pathetic asshole.  Just leave the poor girl alone.'  He stood outside in the cold February night wind, determined to be miserable.  'Leo's right… you're the worst thing that could happen to her right now.'

            Inside, Leonardo hung up the phone.  "Yup, she's officially delayed.   I didn't get a chance to talk to her, but the Channel Six secretary, Irma—remember her?, says she's on assignment.  Apparently there's some kind of hostage crisis at a supermarket.  Irma seemed to think it wouldn't last much longer; the SWAT team's already been called in."

            Donatello shook his head. "I hate it when they give her assignments like this.  I thought that was the point of being an anchorperson.  You didn't have to be out there in the middle of New York with a gun-toting madman."  He distractedly moved a bishop across the board, seizing Sterling's rook.  He cursed softly; the rook had been bait.

            Mike looked up from his spot on the couch.  "There's not much we can do, I mean, we're 3 hours northwest and waitin' for a ride.  If Irma's not worried, I say April'll probably be ok, right?"

            Leo pulled out the radio, "We can at least listen to the news stations, make sure she's ok."  Splinter nodded.

            Mike hesitated, "Ok, dude.  But keep it low, I don't want 'em to wake up."  After several hours of stories that explained in great detail, the coolness that was April, Pipes and Cabbage finally seemed to relax and had even fallen asleep.  Mike couldn't have been happier.  'So lucky! I'm a MIKEY sandwich!  Cabbage asleep with her head on my shoulder!  Pipes asleep with her head on my thigh!'  Grinning like a thing possessed, Mikey felt Pipes snuggle a little closer.  'She's so cute.  I could sit like this forever.'  Cabbage shifted a bit in her sleep and her hand landed on his other leg.  'I could die happy right now.'

            Shima smiled silently.  She'd made some serious progress on the dress she had started.  Her needle and thread hadn't stopped moving since the guys had announced that the farm was all cleaned up and ready to be vacated.  Splinter had not said anything about the clothes, but Leonardo kept looking at her funny.  Shima could understand his confusion.  After all, judging from this weekend, the guys only wore clothes when they were absolutely necessary.  It suited her sisters and her just fine; the only clothes they had been forced to wear were lab coats or work smocks.

            Shima held the dress up, noting that the fabric seemed to drape nicely.  It wasn't that she wanted to act like a human.  She returned to her stitching.  There were just certain necessities when you were a woman: human, turtle, or otherwise.  She cringed inwardly at the thought of having to explain the sudden fit of modesty which would possess her and her sisters at various points in the upcoming month.  'Oh god!  I didn't think about that.  We'll need more than one dress, if … where's a calendar when you need one?'  She took a deep breath and worked faster.  'Stupid cycles… though I guess they call Nature a '_Mother______' for a reason.' 

            Raphael snapped out of his masochistic internal mutterings at the sight of headlights on the driveway.  "SHE'S HERE!"

            Raphael's shout rang through the living room like a gunshot.  Pipes and Cabbage were sitting upright and stretching before Mikey knew it.  'No!'  Mike sighed.  'God damn it, Raph.'  Mike silently vowed to put slugs in his brother's bed.  

            Donatello and Sterling threw the chess game into overdrive, playing speed chess and dropping most of the captured pieces.  "Check!" Donnie exclaimed.  Several more high-paced moves ensued.

            "Checkmate!" Sterling wrote on her notepad.

            "Aaargh!  I demand a rematch!"

            "Donnie, hush."  Leo had turned the volume up on the radio.

            "….been mere moments since the hostage crisis was resolved.  All those trapped in the supermarket at gunpoint are free to go home to their families.  All the gunmen are in custody, and there were no casualties.  The NYPD and the SWAT team in particular are to be commended for their heroic efforts…"

            Leo and Donnie turned to one another.  Leo spoke first.  "It's a three hour drive."

            "But the hostage thing just ended."

            "So that can't be April outside…."

            Raphael waited until the headlights cut off before jogging across the lawn.  He stopped short when a voice in the darkness called out, "Hey Dome-Head!  You and the rest of the Pond Scum Suckers ready to go?"

            "Casey…?"

Please Review.  If I don't know what's Poopy about my work, I can never make it better.  Thank you. -kyabetsu


	2. Casey at the Bat

Never-NeverLand – Chapter 2

"RAPHAEL!  THAT'S NOT APRIL!"  Leonardo and Donatello burst out of the house, hitting the lawn at a dead run.  Raphael had been standing, staring open-mouthed, but his brothers' entrance triggered an almost instinctive response.

"No shit."

Casey took a step back as Leo and Don screeched to a halt in front of him.  "Whoa.  What the hell is with you guys?  April couldn't make it.  Said something about an assignment.  Broad had me drop everything and borrow her van to come and get you guys."

Raphael snorted, "Drop everything huh?  Would that have been a beer and your latest copy of 'Hustler'?"

Casey glared at him.  "I don't drive drunk.  She caught me before I'd had my daily 6-pack.  So you ungrateful lizards owe me some brewskis when we get back to the city." 

Raphael waved him away.  He turned to his brothers.  "You guys go get things ready at the house.  I'll explain things to the monkey."  

"Who you callin' a monkey, you overgrown house pet?"

Leonardo nodded slowly.  "Okay."

As they walked back to the house, Donatello asked, "You sure this is a good idea?  I mean, they finally seem ok with the idea of meeting April, but Casey… uh, he's not April, is he?"

"Well, we don't have enough food to stay here, and Casey did drive the three hours to get here.  True, he's not April, but he's a good guy…"

Donnie sighed. 'Yeah, he's a good guy.  He's also wearing a "Happiness is a Belt-Fed Weapon" T-shirt.'

Raphael glared at his best friend.  

"So let me get this straight.  You guys have four, young, turtle, women in that house, and you're standing out here by your lonesome waiting for April to show up?"  Casey laughed out loud, thumping Raphael on the back.  "Jeez man, I know you've got the manners of a stoned goat, but damn!  You struck out already?!   Or are they all just as ugly as you four?!"

Casey's laughter stopped abruptly.  It's hard to laugh when you cannot breathe.

Raphael waited for his friend to recover from that blow to the gut.  When he was sure he had Casey's attention, he tried to explain things again.  "There's nothing wrong with them.  In fact, if I hear you say one word against them, I'll kill you and bury the body where no one will find it.  I'm sure Donnie can figure out how to drive."  He paused, waiting for that to sink in.  "To say that they've had a hard life would be the understatement of a lifetime.  They have a rather understandable dislike for humans.  It took us a day and a half to get them to agree to meet April.  You've shown up instead."  Raphael waited for Casey to stop coughing.  "We're gonna go in there, and I'm gonna introduce you.  You're gonna be just as respectful of them as you are of Master Splinter – NO MATTER WHAT KIND OF REACTION THEY HAVE TO YOUR UGLY HUMAN FACE!"

"Reaction?"

"Yeah, the first few times we mentioned April… well, let's just call it hysterics."  He shook his head and looked back at the house with a worried glance.  "So we clear?  Best behavior?  No fuckin' stupid questions?  I'll tell you all about 'em later, but right now, you're Miss-Fuckin-Manners, right?"

Casey winced and stood upright.  "You owe me two six-packs now, Kermit."

+"Raphael's best friend?"+

"He's got friends?"

"Cabbage!  Shut up!"  Shima turned back towards her brothers.  Mike was trying to hide a smile and failing.  "You trust him?"

Leonardo answered without hesitation.  "With our lives."

Donatello nodded, "He saved Master Splinter from, well, a gang of murderers."  He shifted, well aware that they had yet to explain the Foot to the girls.  

Shima let the obvious question pass.  "You say you trust him, yet all of you are worried.  Why?"

Mikey blinked.  'That's the kind of thing you expect to hear from Sensei, not Shima.  Weirdness.'  He added his two cents.  "Well, Casey's a great guy and all, but he's a bit rough around the edges, ya know?  Might make a bad first impression.  Uh, we know the humans've done you wrong, and we're worried that he's just gonna freak ya out before ya get to know him."

Cabbage bit her lower lip.  "But you say you trust him?"

All eyes went to Splinter as he calmly nodded, "Completely."

The door opened, and Raphael preceded a scruffy-looking human into the living room.  The girls were immediately on their feet, shoulders back, and staring into the middle distance.  Casey could see the one shaking.  'Christ.  It's like they're all at attention.'  Raphael grunted like he'd been hit, and escorted Casey into the room.

"Casey, I'd like you to meet our sisters:  Pipes," she was shaking badly; "Cabbage," she'd bit her lower lip until it bled; "Sterling," her eyes bored twin holes into his skull; and "Shima," she was the only one who nodded briefly to acknowledge the introduction.  "Ladies, I want to introduce my friend Casey Jones.  He's safe.  I promise."

Casey waved, but received no response.  He felt like he was supposed to make some kind of inspection or something.  'Lined up like for roll call.  They're all so skinny, they look more like friggin' prayin' mantises than turtles.  The stripes are cool though, like having tattoos from birth: face, neck, shoulders, hips, forearms and feet.  Heh.  They'd probably set a trend if the guys over at "The Needle and Ink" ever saw that.  Shells have even got curves.  Raph's right; there's nothing wrong with 'em.  Nothin' a few meals wouldn't fix.  Not my bag, but hey, I can see why the guys seem so protective.'  His train of thought derailed suddenly as Leonardo poked him in the back.

"Say something."

Casey floundered until he caught Master Splinter's gaze.  Feeling as though he had an ally, he took a deep breath.  "It's very nice to meet you all.  I've been hangin' around with the guys for years now, so if my manners're rusty, you know why.  I've got the van out front, and god only knows how you're all gonna fit in it, but I figure you'll sort that out.  It's three hours to New York, so go ahead and get yourselves ready.  I'll be waiting at in the van."

Shima surprised them all by stepping forward.  She held her hand out awkwardly and smiled a uncertain grin.  "I understand you went to great inconvenience to come get us.  Thank you for that Mr. Jones."

Casey smiled and shook her hand.  "It's just Casey.  And it's no big deal, toots."


	3. Think Happy Thoughts

Never-NeverLand – Chapter 3

            "So there's nine of you, a cooler, a duffle bag, and some pillows?"  Casey peered into the mini-van and absently scratched himself.  

            Donatello nodded.  "That's it.  I figured if we fold up the seats, we can stack them in that back corner.  Then we can stack the cooler and the duffle bag on them.  We'll anchor them with some bungee chords.  We'll raid April's blanket collection and pad the floor.  There should be enough room for us to sit, and we'll be down low and out of sight.  I get the feeling that the girls aren't gonna like seeing the other motorists on the highway."

            Casey clapped once.  "Alright then, go for it."  He slipped around the driver's side of the van.  "Hey Donnie, are they ok?"

            Don paused, half way through unthreading the seatbelts.  "How do you mean?"

            Shrugging, Casey poured his old flat soda out onto the lawn.  "They just looked pretty messed up.  I mean, the one has that giant pixie stick straw coming out of that big bandage on her side.  Then there's the one with her head wrapped shut and her knees all taped.  Hell, even the other two've got fresh bandaids here and there."  He cleared out the trash from his drive-through dinner.  "Just that you guys never look like that unless the Foot is involved."  He grinned at Donnie, "Do I get to help you guys bust some heads or what?"

            Don rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help but smile.  Casey's world-view was so _basic:_  the baddies beat up the goodies, then the goodies pounded the baddies' asses into a bloody paste.  'I wish it were that simple.'  He sighed and unlocked the bench seat from its tracks.  "Sorry Casey, it's a bit more complicated than that, but yeah, they're fine.  The one with the straw has a nasty puncture wound that got inflected pretty badly.  The other one has a fractured jaw.  Their enemies are long gone.  We can all just go home and try to live a normal life."

            Casey snorted.  "Normal?  Donnie, you guys wouldn't know 'normal' if it bit you in the ass."

            The instant Casey left the room Pipes' knees gave out, dropping her back onto the sofa like a rag doll.  She was still shaking as she sat up and hung her head between her knees.  Mike leaned forward from his seat next to her and rubbed her shell gently.  Sterling had seated herself on the opposite arm of the sofa by Cabbage, who was dabbing her lower lip with a bit of tissue.  When the bleeding stopped, Sterling casually started petting the inside of her sister's wrist.  Raphael could see the tension ease in both the girls.  Shima was the only one of the girls still upright, but even she was leaning against the wall between Leo and Splinter.

            "It'll be ok Pipes.  I swear, it's just Casey!  You girls don't have to impress him or nothin'.   He's a big softie, dudette!"  Mikey gave a lop-sided grin.  "You don't need to worry about standin' at attention or nothin'.  That crazy monkey-man didn't know what to do!  Heh!  You guys had him so confused!"

            Pipes sniffled and raised her head, +"You ALWAYS so respect to your betters."+  She closed her eyes and pulled away from Mikey's fading smile.

            Mike felt like he'd been hit right between the eyes.  '…your betters…'  "Oh, No Pipes…" 

            Leo blinked several times.  He scanned his new sisters' reactions.  None of them seemed inclined to disagree with Pipes.  Not even Sterling.  "Shima?  You don't believe that do you?  Humans are our 'betters'?"  She wouldn't make eye contact.

            Cabbage raised her head sharply, making a desperate attempt at changing the conversation.  "So, what's it like riding in a car?"  The guys' disbelieving stares were now focused on her.  'I shouldn't have said anything.'  She started offering up excuses for her question, before they got mad at her.  "It's not like we've ever ridden in one.  I mean, we must have at some point, but not without sedation and packing material.  It's kinda hard to remember the details when you're set up like that—"  Sterling put a hand on her shoulder.  Cabbage glanced up at her sister, "I just don't want to have a fight right now."  Sterling nodded; she understood.  The sisters had debated human supremacy too many times to think it would end in anything but a shouting match.  

            Donatello sauntered into the living room.  "Okay!  Grab your coats and hats and a pair of blankets.  Be sure and hit the bathroom before we leave, cause it's a three-hour ride.  The van is all ready!"  His smiling enthusiasm was met with a hollow silence.  "I missed something, didn't I?"

            Shima paused before setting foot in the human vehicle.  Donatello followed her line of sight straight to the churned dirt beneath the apple tree.  He placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.  "We'll come back to the farm.  I promise.  They're safe here until then."  She shut her eyes and nodded.  

            "I trust you completely."  Donatello swallowed, aware for the first time that his sister had accepted every change in her life on blind faith.  His promise had been made in an off-handedly reassuring manner, but she had latched onto it like a life preserver.  'She means it: complete trust.  That's an awful lot of responsibility.  I wonder if this is what Leo feels like.'

            Though he'd been trying to avoid it, Raphael ended up sitting thigh to thigh with Sterling.  She didn't seem to notice.  She was too busy playing with the seat belts.  click  click click  She stared into the buckle housing, pushing the button, trying to watch the internal mechanism without blocking the meager light from the overhead bulb.  He caught himself smiling; 'She's so cute.'  He gave himself a mental punch in the arm, and came back to reality in time to watch her using thumb nail to unscrew the back of the buckle casing.  Shaking his head, he put his hand over hers.  "It's not our van; don't take it apart."  Her eyes got real big as she searched frantically for Casey.  She nodded quickly and dropped the buckle like a hot coal.  

Raphael leaned back in amazement.  He was used to being the scariest thing around.  Only Leo and Master Splinter didn't back down when he was pissed.  'Yet here's this slip – a tall slip, but a slip none-the-less—of a girl who doesn't hesitate to argue with me, doesn't baulk at being chased around the house by the guy who just hurt her, didn't pause to snap open her own face, and she's scared that CASEY's gonna be mad because she took a screw out of one of April's seat belt buckles.  I don't get it.'

            Casey strapped into the driver's seat.  "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking…"  He hesitated, unsure of what came next.

            "Ow!  M.C. Casey in da House!"

            "Casey, think, THEN speak."

            "Ok, shut up!  This here's a non-stop shuttle from the farm in the Back of Beyond to New York City."

            The engine turned over, and Pipes nearly jumped out of her shell.  Sandwiched as she was between Raphael and Mikey, she knew they noticed.  'Damn it.  I just keep embarrassing myself tonight.'  The van lurched onto the gravel; Pipes grabbed the floor to keep her balance.  "Whoa, watch where you've got your hands Pipe-Pipe!"  She'd certainly steadied herself, but the floor hadn't been involved.  She pulled her hands back from her new brothers' thighs as though she'd been burnt.  Her blush was visible even in the dark.  So was Mikey's smile.


	4. A Pinch of Pixie Dust

Never-NeverLand – Chapter 4

            "Pssst!  PIPES!  Com'on Pipes, I know you're awake.  Shima said she'd tell a story, but she doesn't want to wake you up.  I know you're awake already, so knock it off you little faker!"  Cabbage poked her sister's foot.  "Quit sulking, you stupid ostrich-girl!  What, you think by putting your head in your shell, the world goes away?"    Cabbage poked her foot again.  "The rest of us are bored out of our minds, but nobody wants to wake you up, so we're just sitting here like lumps.  I KNOW you're awake!"

            A sleepy muffled voice emanated from Pipes' shell +"Okay, Sherlock.  How did you _know_ I was awake?"+  Pipes' head surfaced and she blinked owlishly in the flickering orange light of the highway street lamps.  She had clearly just woken up.

            "Oh, that's easy."  Cabbage counted off on her fingers.  "First, you never sleep with your head that far down, if you did fall asleep like that your head would have drifted back up a bit.  Second, you're the fussy sleeper who demanded the bed by the air vent and then couldn't sleep because 'it made your bed shake.'  So, I don't see how you could sleep in the van, since the whole floor vibrates.  And lastly, I knew you weren't asleep, because you're never asleep after I wake you."

            Leo let out a low sliding whistle.  "It must be nice to have siblings who don't have combat training."  Cabbage was all dimples; she winked at him.

            "Oh, she'll get me back.  The question is how.  Since she's still tired, it'll probably take her a while…"

            +"Oh, I don't think so… Has Cabbage ever told you of her brief musical encounter with the British culture?"+

            Shima burst out laughing, and Sterling applauded.  "She's got you now!"  Shima gently nudged Cabbage with her foot.  "Serves you right!"

            Cabbage seemed a bit paler than before as she turned to Leo.  "I'd like to trade a sibling with combat training for 'the-living-tape-recorder' model that I currently have."

            +"Oh, I'm sorry.  Did you want me to be quiet?  I'm like that when I sleep, you know.  Though on the plus side, you don't look bored…"+

            "You've bloodied the waters, why not just make it a clean kill, huh?"  Cabbage squirmed up against the door of the van, trying to hide in the shadow under the window.

            Pipes drew breath to antagonize her sister further, but Sterling placed her hand on her sister's knee and shook her head.  Shima sighed, "Yes, Sterling has a point."

            "Which was?"  Mikey wanted to hear this.  Anything that makes Cabbage fidget like that had to be good.

            "It's a very good, very embarrassing, very funny story.  Pipes always tells it beautifully.  Unfortunately, it's a LOUD story, and one that I'm not sure we should tell with your Sensei relaxing right in front of us."  

            "Ah.  I see."  Donatello nodded.

            "I don't!  She can whisper!  I wanna hear this!"  Pipes pulled Mike's head toward her by tugging on his bandana.  She whispered in his ear.  "What?  Why not?"  She tried again.  His eyes suddenly had whites all the way around them.  "Oh."

            Raphael leaned over, "If he gets to hear, so do I."  

            Pipes shook her head, +"I only explained to him that he had to wait.  I didn't tell the story."+  She pushed him back out of her space.

            "Don't worry Cabbage, they won't let Pipes forget to tell it later."  Shima laughed quietly.  "Did you still want a story?"

            Cabbage yawned.  "Who, me?  I'm sleepy."

            +"Liar.  Here, we'll play a game.  We'll tell stories round the van, but each story has to start with 'My sibling was so blank when we were little…'  Choose your adjective, but if no one can top your story within that adjective, then you're exempt from having stories told about you in the next round.  Okay?"  

            "Huh?"  Mike and Raph looked blank.

            Donatello sighed, "It's like 'My brother Mike was so stupid when we were little, he never learned his parts of speech.'  Then Leo could say, 'That's nothing.  My brother Raph is so stupid he STILL doesn't know his parts of speech.  Then Leo would be safe from having stories told about him in the next round."

"Oh.  Okay."  Mike nodded.

Raph casually flipped Donnie off, "Got it, but you're gonna get it later."

"Oh, and guys… the adjective doesn't have to be bad."  Shima smiled, "For instance, my sister Sterling was so cute when she was little…"  Sterling tried to feign death.  "We threw a surprise birthday party for Cosette, our tutor, and we were maybe three or four years old.  Sterling thought that the whole pop-out-and-shout-'Happy-Birthday'-thing was the best thing since sliced bread.  So for weeks before, she 'practiced' hiding in her shell and popping up, shouting 'Happy Birthday', regardless of who was around at the time.  I'm pretty sure Cosette knew what was up.  Anyways, she was absolutely adorable, though of course, it began to pall in the weeks that followed the party… "  Shima trailed off.  "Oh I'm sorry Sterling, did you have something to say?"  Sterling mimed putting a gun to her head, thought the better of it and mimed pointing the gun at her sister instead.

Mikey chuckled, "I can top that easy."  His brothers tensed, each waiting for the other shoe to drop.   


	5. 8 handfuls of dust and a dead pixie

Never-NeverLand – Chapter 5

            "So this all happened when we were about the same age as Sterling: 3 or 4 years old."

            "Name your target Mike."  Raphael muttered at him through clenched teeth.  

            "Seriously, Mike.  I wanna know if I get to enjoy this or if I should get ready to travel on the roof the rest of the way home."  Donatello was acutely aware that he was the one who had most recently called Mikey 'stupid'.

            "Paranoid much?  Now shut up; you're ruining the set up."  Mikey shook his head and resumed his place in the center of attention.  "I'd been sick with the flu or something for about a week.  Splinter had me quarantined, and I was miserable.  I felt like shit.  I was bored.  I was lonely.  Food tasted bad.  I could hear my brothers playing, but I couldn't join them.  I felt like I'd done something wrong and was being punished."

            "Then Splinter said I was well enough to join him in the living room.  He told me that my brothers had a surprise for me—"

            "Oh NO!"  Leo's eyes were wide open.  "Mike, I know where you're going with this!  Please don't."  He buried his face in his hands and groaned.

            Raphael glared at Leo, willing him to make eye contact.  "Where's he goin' with this, Leo?"  

            Donatello seemed to focus on something on the ceiling.  He squeezed his eyes shut as he asked, "The play?"

            "BINGO!"  Mike was all smiles.  "My brothers were so cute when we were little, they did a 'Get Well Mikey Show' for me!"

            "Splinter held my hand, I had a box of Kleenex in the other and my teddy bear tucked up under my arm.  He settled me on the couch, propped me up with pillows, and tucked a blanket around me."  

"My brothers had set up a stage using the backs of two tall chairs to hold a bo staff with a pair of mismatched shower curtains on it.  After the curtains opened, you could see that they'd cut a cardboard box open and colored a forest-looking scene on the background.  They acted out a couple fairy tales, but my favorite was their rendition of 'Little Bunny Foo-Foo.'"

            Pipes snuck a glance at Raphael.  He was so tense he was shaking.  "…Must control Fist of Death…."  She made a mental note to duck if he attacked Mike.

            Donatello's blush was so dark green; he almost looked brown.

            Leonardo's eyes were closed, his posture relaxed.  He might have been mediating except for the occasional grimace that passed across his face.

            Mike, however, was clearly having the time of his life.  "Okay.  So I want you to picture little Raphael with a pair of construction-paper bunny ears taped to either side of his head.  He's carrying some stuffed animals and a pair of drumsticks.  He walks to center-stage and just dumps the toys in front of the 'forest.'  He takes the drumsticks and exits."

            "Now little Donnie, in a plastic top hat that's way too big for him, stands to the side of the stage."  Mike's voice goes up an octave as he impersonates Donatello at three.  "'Eh-hem.  Lil' Bunny Foo Foo.'"

            "I did NOT sound like that."

            Raphael snorts, "Dude, you still do."

            "What'd you know, Mr. Foo Foo?"

            Raphael started looking for something to throw.

            "Guys, I'm not done yet."

            Leo had the look of man who execution had just been re-instated.

            "So anyways, 'Little Bunny Foo Foo hoppin' through the forest…'  Little Raphael enters with a drumstick in each hand and approaches the stuffed animals, but he's not hopping.  He's stomping, like Godzilla-style.  You can hear little Leonardo from offstage."  

Once again, Mike pitches his voice stupidly high, "'Raph!  You're s'pposed t' HOP!'"   

            "'Scoopin' up the field mice and boppin' 'em on the head.'  By this point, Raph-chan is wailing on the stuffed animals.  'Down came the Blue Fairy and She said:'"

            'HE said, Donnie!  I'm a BOY!'  Now, I don't know where they found it, but little Leo has a bent tiara with the comb-spikey bits broken off taped to his head.  He's also got every blue bit of cloth he owns tied to his body somehow.  He looks like a rejected blue muppet.  Anyways, he jumps from off one of the chair seats backstage and lands in the middle of Raph's rampage.  'Little Bunny Foo Foo, I don't wanna see you pickin' up the field mice and boppin' 'em on the head.  I'll give you three chances and if you don't behave, I'll turn you into a goon!'  He darts off stage, and you can see the chair on that side wobbling as he climbs back up, ready to jump in and scold Raph again."

            Mike paused, "Funny how you never notice the patterns in life until later."  He shakes his head, "So anyways, Raph-chan has yet to quit savaging the stuffed animal collection, but one of his paper bunny ears has fallen off and he's thrown the drumsticks down.  He's using his fists.  Don-chan looks nervous, and he's having trouble with his hat, but he keeps going.  'The next day.  Lil' Bunny Foo Foo HOPPIN' through the forest, scoopin' up the field mice and boppin' 'em on the head.  Down came the Blue Fairy and HE said:'

            "'Raph knock it off!  You don't have to be so mean!  You're gonna break my toys!'"

            Mike's impression of Raph-chan sounds like Marlan Brando on helium, "Or what?  You're gonna turn me into a goon?"

            "Of course, they started fighting, just wrestling really.  But that was the end of the play.  Donnie joined me on the couch, and let me wear the top hat."  Mikey sighed and smiled.  "I've watched my brothers fight so many times, I can't even begin to count.  But my all-time favorite battle had to be when Raphael, the one-eared Bunny Foo Foo, Scourge of the Stuffed Animals called out Leonardo, the Midget Blue Fairy Princess from the Bag-Lady-Section of the Costuming Department.   Dat's why my brudders ur soo ca-ute!"  He made kissy-faces at Leonardo and Donatello.  He used Pipes as a living shield to keep Raphael back. 

            +"Ack! No! NO!  BAD MIKEY!"+  

            Cabbage raised an eye-ridge at Leo.  "The Blue Fairy, huh?"

            Shima and Donatello were too busy laughing to help Leo, but he let loose a shot in the dark.  "I wouldn't talk.  I don't know any British songs."  The look on her face told him he'd scored a direct hit.  "You'll have to sing it some time!  I'd play nice until then, huh?"

            She pouted and attempted to copy Mikey's falsetto impersonation of Leo, "You don't have to be so mean!"

            Across the van, Sterling had halted Raph's assault on Mike with a short-lived but distracting volley of tickles.  Raphael had her wrists pinned together in one hand before she knew it.  He smiled.  "Ninja. Heh." 


	6. In flight Turbulence

Never-NeverLand – Chapter 6

            Sterling watched the highway glare strobe over Raphael's face.  He still held both of her wrists in one of his muscular hands.  His expression was nothing less than smug.  'Oh, I see.  We've got an ego, don't we Mr. Ninja?  Well I, for one, am not gonna give you that satisfaction.'  Sterling arched an eye ridge at him, shrugged half-heartedly and rolled her eyes.  She couldn't have said, 'I'm not impressed.' any better if she'd used neon lights.

            She watched his eyes widen, then shut until they were angry slits.  His grip tightened, then it was gone.  He turned away from her, crossing his arms over his chest.  He missed seeing the laughing light in her eyes as she covered her beak, trying not to smile.  

            'Goddamn her!  What's a guy gotta do to impress—Shit!  Why the hell are you trying to impress her, you fucking moron?  She's trouble!  You messed it all up already.  Fuckin hell…'  Raphael shut his eyes and cursed a silent hate-filled mantra.  'Why does that bitch do this to me?  Like I should care what she thinks?  I mean, she's not the only girl on the planet.  If she's stubborn and cold and fuckin' PSYCHO, then why am I getting' all worked up about her?'   An image of her covered in dirt, grease and soot filled his head.  'Out in the barn, playing with power tools.  Shit.  Sexless tomboy.'

            Sterling watched him pout for a bit.  'Well, that certainly gave me a reaction.   Your shell's not too thick, is it Raphael?'  Sterling's mirth had died; he was clearly more upset than she had intended.  'We just keep doing that to one another.  Neither of us is as strong as we pretend.  Jeez, I didn't mean to hurt you.'  She didn't know how to apologize without words and without making a scene, or making it worse.  She leaned back against the cooler, and stared at the ceiling.  

'What the hell is wrong with me?  My sisters don't seem to have these problems.'  Laughter interrupted her thoughts.  She shut her eyes, hoping to somehow shut out the sound.  'Why did I have to go an' be spiteful like that?  What's it matter if I acknowledge that he's got a strong grip, or fast hands?'  Sterling sighed. 'For that matter, what's with him?  Why does it matter whether or not I'm swooning over his skills?  What kind of CHILD can't handle bein' teased just a little bit?  Arrogant jerk.'     

            Pipes pulled out of her shell.  +"Dang it, Mikey!  How come you needed to put ME at ground zero for your little land-war with the 'Foo'? "+  She turned to face him, noting that her wrath had not even 'blipped' on his radar.  She threw on an outrageous British accent, +" Jus' YOO way-t, Moikee 'iggins!"+

            "Oh no!  It's Eliza Dolittle!  What're you gonna do?   Huh?"  Mikey bapped the top of her head.  Pipes raised a hand to stop him and failed miserably.  "Huh?"  Bap.  "Huh?" Bap.  He changed his target, tapping her on the shoulder instead.  "Whoops!  Too slow!"  Tap.  Pipes sat still and folded her arms, fighting a smile.  Mike continued to grin and play "bongo" on her head and shoulders.  "You gonna EE-nun-See-Ay-Tuh at me?  You gonna put all that RAY-en from SPAY-en on my PLAY-en?"  Bap-Tap-Bap-Bap-Tap.  "Huh, Miss Dolittle?  You gonna beat me at Street Fighter?  Huh? You gonna thumb wrestle me into submission?"  Pipes' smile unfolded across her face.

            +"I would offer to thumb wrestle you, but I'm scared I'd break your boy-child fingers."+  She inspected her own nails as silence rolled through the van. 

            "What?"

            +"You heard me.  I know that you and your pudgy three little piggies there are no match for me."+

            The guys burst into guffaws of laughter.  Pipes ignored them, cracking her knuckles and massaging her hands and wrists.  

            "Sure!  Why the hell not?"   Michelangelo managed to wheeze before he lapsed back into laughter.  

            "Don't hurt her, Mike."  Leonardo sounded genuinely concerned, but willing to go along with things.  

            Donnie just shook his head, "I can't watch this."

            Shima and Cabbage traded smirks with Sterling across the van.  "Would you gentlemen like to make a wager?"  

            Shima suddenly had even Raphael's attention.  "The best two out of three.  Hold for the count of five seconds, timed by Donatello's watch.  She wins, and all sisters are exempt from embarrassing stories for the rest of the trip.  He wins and the reverse is true.  Oh, whichever side wins can demand five completely truthful answers from the opposite team."

            Pipes looked up from her hand stretches.  +"Oh, and if I win, I want Mike's bandana as a trophy."+

            Mike snorted, "Yeah, right.  And if I win? What do I get as a trophy?"

            Pipes didn't blink.  +"A massage."+

            "OK!  Move it guys, Pipes and I gotta be across from each other."  

After some shuffling, Pipes sat with her back to the van's back hatch, her sisters along the right hand side of the van.  Mike sat with his back to Casey.  "I'm prolly gonna crash this van laughing if you get your ass beat by a girl."

"Shut up Casey."  

Mike's brothers lined the other side of the van.  Donatello held his watch's back-light button, illuminating the seconds.  +"Right or left-handed?"+

Mike rolled his eyes, "Like it matters, dudette."

She shrugged and extended her right hand.     

Mikey did likewise, noting that her hands were a lot more fragile than he remembered.  As they clasped hands, the differences in hand shape became even more evident.  Where his were compact and powerfully thick, her three fingers were longer and thinner.  His knuckles sat flush with the meat of his fingers.  Hers seemed to stand out like bony knobs.  Though they gave her hands a slightly skeletal appearance, Mike could see and feel the tendons shifting along them as she adjusted her grip.   Mike could feel sinews under the thin padding in her palm against the backs of his fingers.  'That does it, she's gonna gain some weight if I have to force her to main-line ho-ho's when we get home.'

Pipes noted the thick calluses and heavy joints in his hand.  She knew that if she were pinned, there would be no weaseling out of it.  His fingers were short, at least compared to hers.  'That's a point in my favor.'  Pipes gave his fingers a squeeze, judging the reflexive twitch.  'He's fast and obscenely strong.  I'm gonna have my work cut out for me.  There are only a few points that I would be able to hold if I do pin 'im.'  Pipes laughed at herself.  'Oh well, at least I didn't challenge him to arm wrestling.  He'd've handed my ass to me on a platter.'  She nodded to Shima.  +"Ready when the boy-wonder is."+

"Dudette, you watch it, or you'll be singing that British song as a duet with Cabbage when you've finished that massage."  Mikey smiled and nodded to Shima.  

"One.  Two. Three.  Four.  I declare a thumb war!"

Mikey went straight in for the pin, assuming that his speed and strength would overwhelm her slower, smaller thumb.  Just as he felt her nail on the bottom of his thumb, he saw her thumb flip back at an almost impossible angle.  It snapped back into place with a cricking noise and locked in a ring around his knuckle.

"What?—"

"Remember to count Donnie.  The watch."

"Oh. Yeah.  One. Two. Three.  Four.  Five."

            Pipes released his thumb.  "What in the hell?"   Mikey shook out his hand.  He wasn't gonna fall for that twice.  "You're double-jointed!"  She shrugged.  Casey cackled in the front seat.

            "Damn!  Mikey… man, if we gotta hear stupid stories about Leo for the rest of the trip—"

            "Shut up Raph!  The stupid stories'll be about YOU, I promise."  Mike studied his opponent's joints more carefully this time.  'Can't lose again.  Cabbage is watching.  My brothers would never let me forget it down.  Casey'll never shut up about it.  Sensei's right there, and I know he's not asleep.'  Her hands looked just like they did the first time.  "I'm ready; let's go."  She nodded and extended her right hand.  

            Pipes kept her smile internal.  'I've got your attention now, don't I?  I certainly wouldn't mind losing, if it meant I could just give you a massage.  That would be fun, but then I'd have to listen to my sisters bitching about how I threw the match.  Honesty is the best policy, right?  May the best turtle win.'  With a quiet sigh, Pipes nodded to Shima.

            "One. Two.  Three.  Four.  I declare a thumb war!"

            This time Mike kept his thumb high and back as he searched for an opportunity to strike.  Pipes felt his palm tensing against her fingers and lowered her thumb slowly into the pinning zone.  Quick as a flash, Mike's thumb came down on open air.  Some how she'd swung her thumb to the right over the back of her own hand and up, out of the way and poised to pin him again.  She clamped down on his knuckle and Mike heard his brothers' groans as Donnie counted to five.

            "Shit! Mike, I thought you could thumb wrestle, man!"  

            "What the hell is wrong with you?"

            Casey was belly-laughing in the front seat.

            Mike snatched the bandana from his head, and threw it at Pipes, who caught it with a smile.  Her smile faded though, as she realized that his pride was seriously bruised.

+"Oh, shut up.  There's no way any of you guys would've won either.."+  She extended her hand and proceeded to dislocate every joint in her hand with a series of small pops.  Where the muscles should have prevented movement, sinews shifted and stretched, making her hands look webbed.  She fanned her three fingers out so wide that her thumb touched her wrist.  She'd pulled the bone out of its socket at the base of her palm.  She wriggled her fingers.  It was like watching snakes dance.

            Raphael spoke quietly, "Another birth defect?"

            +"Nope.  Elective surgery."+  Pipes smiled and folded her fingers back into their sockets.  +"One of Cabbage's first and finest.  That's my baby sister, the mad scientist."+


	7. Story! Story! In flight Movie!

Never-NeverLand – Chapter 7

            Pipes extended her leg in front of her and twined the bright orange bandana down her calf in a criss-cross pattern.  She left small tassles at her heel where she tied it off.  Smiling softly, she waved her sisters into a huddle and whispers filled the van.  Cabbage giggled and Shima nodded.   Sterling gave a thumbs up and huddle was broken. 

            The guys exchanged nervous glances.  

            Pipes sat on Michelangelo's far side.  She beckoned Cabbage over to sit at his other shoulder.  Shima and Sterling sat back to back against the van door.  Sterling extended her arm, and Shima calmly began dragging her fingernails up and down the inside of her sister's wrist.

            Mike nearly jumped out of his shell when Cabbage and Pipes laid their hands on his shoulders and began to roll his muscles in the same rhythm under their warm fingers.  Leonardo watched with his mouth hanging open as his brother turned to jell-o.  "But he LOST, you don't have to give him a massage!"  Leo clung to his concept of the rules; he couldn't think of any other reason why Mikey would be getting a rub down.  "Why are you…?"  He gestured.

            Cabbage and Pipes smiled at each other, +"Because we WANT to,"+ they purred in unison.  Mike's eyes flew wide open and then rolled back into his head.  

            +"Shhh.  Relax, silly.  You're tensing again."+  Mike's smile could have illuminated entire continents.  

            Shima spoke softly, "In the same vein, we've decided that bet only exempts us from telling embarrassing stories.  The one behind Pipes' hands is not embarrassing, and I do agree with Pipes that the contest was not a fair one.  So if you don't mind, I'd like to tell the story I promised back when Cabbage first woke Pipes."

            Mikey groaned happily.  Cabbage smiled, "Just got a knot out." 

            Raph shook his head and covered his eyes.

            Donnie smirked, jealous of the attentions that Mike was enjoying.  "Sure, a story without humiliation sounds grand."

            Shima smiled, keeping the rhythm of her light scratches up and down her sister's arm, she began.

            "The humans decided that Pipes would study the fine arts.  Not just the visual arts, with its painting and sculpting and potting and drafting, but the musical arts as well.  When she was very young, they set her to learning instruments and music theory.  Unfortunately, I'm sure you've noticed that our anatomy does not lend itself to playing human instruments."  Shima lifted her free hand and wiggled three, thin, tapered fingers.  

            "For the most part, having three fingers didn't hamper our training.  However, Pipes suffered no end of difficulties.  They fitted the ends of her fingers with extensions, double-pronged fake fingernails when she learned to play guitar.  She received longer extensions that forked at a wider angle for when she was taught piano."

            Shima could tell her audience did not understand.  "Even human children, with the proper number of fingers and good teachers, can suffer physical damage from repetitive strain in their hands and wrists.  Instruments and chords are often set up with complete disregard for fundamental concerns: 'do joints actually bend that way?,' 'can a normal person reach both of those keys at once?,' 'how quickly should I be able to do that?'  Humans start their children to learning instruments young, not just because their minds are more receptive, but because while children are young, their bones are still soft.  To pick an instrument at random for an example, let's say the piano; the child will have to work for years to slowly deform their hands for the sake of 'reach' on a piano (the number of keys your hand can span from thumb tip to pinky tip).   A child can undergo irreparable damage if their instructors are not attentive enough.

            We were not children; we were mutants.   

Human children are not expected to make the progress that my sister made in the short time that Pipes was given.  Simply put: by the time she was ten, my sister's hands were almost useless.  The cartilage in her joints had eroded.  Her tendons were in a constant state of irritation.  Her wrists were swollen from carpal tunnel syndrome.  She was in almost constant pain.  However, if you gave her enough morphine, she could and did play beautifully in spite of all that."

            "The problem took on significant proportions when her handicap began to interfere with her ability to make money in other ways.  Her musical compositions sold well, and her recorded performance of them was essential.  The money lay in fact that no one could prove the purchaser hadn't composed the piece.  They couldn't be sold as authorless pieces if someone had to be commissioned to play them.  However, even though her music sold well, paintings, prints, and sculpture sold for better prices.  The very things her abused hands were no longer able to produce."

            "At ten years of age, the rest of us were beginning to earn our keep.  I had an office and a desk where I sat for nine hours a day translating various scientific papers from English to their German, Spanish, French, or Japanese equivalents.  Cabbage had two years of basic lab work and autopsy experience under her belt.  Heck, even Sterling was apprenticed to a soon-to-be retired TGRI Grounds and Electric Maintenance member.  It was finally looking like we could relax.  We were making steady progress on our debt to TGRI, and our daily cost of living was being covered by what we earned."

            "Then Pipes' hands just fell apart.  The bones began to fuse together.  The tendons were disintegrating.  She had developed a highly localized palsy in her wrist and hands."  Shima paused.  "Tremors.  Shakes.  You know, spasms."

            Pipes made the time-out 'T.'  +"Leo?"+

            "Huh?"

            Cabbage moved over close to Pipes.  "Would you like to be next?"

            Mikey made feeble protests as his handmaidens moved on to sit by his brother, but moving took so much effort.

            Pipes and Cabbage exchanged some winks and ambiguous hand signs and settled themselves around Leo.  They made as if to sit cross-legged right by his shoulders, but each only tucked one leg in and extended the other bent at the knee.  Leo looked down to find himself flanked by a pair of dark green legs:  one with light green stripes, the other with golden.  He felt Cabbage take his hand, and Pipes take the other.  

            "Relax, Leonardo," Cabbage murmured.

            "Relax, Leonardo," Pipes echoed her sister perfectly only a heartbeat later.  They drew lazy circles on his palms and lines up and down his fingers.  Leo's initial panic subsided.  This was nice.

            Shima smiled, "May I continue?"  

            "By all means."

            "By all means."

            "You know that's creepy, right?"

            "Yes."

            "Yes."

            "Ok.  Good."  Shima resumed petting Sterling's wrist, even though Sterling had obviously fallen asleep.  "Basically, Pipes had two choices.  The first was to continue to watch her hands degenerate and condemn her entire family to death because the humans would not allow a group with a freeloader to live.  The second was to volunteer to be a test subject for some newly created technology: neuro-wire implants.  To her credit, Pipes did not hesitate to volunteer.  However, there are several reasons why she would have if it had not been a matter of life and death."  

            "The nuero-wire was not compatible with most blood types.  In order to keep your body from rejecting the wire, the subject was placed an extreme immuno-repressive drug regime.  Since her immune system was rendered useless by the drug, it couldn't attack the wires and cause fevers or lymphatic swelling.  Unfortunately, that meant it also couldn't protect her from even the mildest of bacteria."

            Donatello shuddered.  "Like volunteering to contract AIDS."

            Shima nodded.  "Yes.  Except in this case, Pipes was not infected with an unstoppable virus, she was just dosed with drugs.  She's not contagious, and never was.  Also, since she's no longer taking the drugs, her immune system is currently working just fine."

            Raphael relaxed and released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

            Shima continued.  "It's actually standard procedure for any kind of implant or transplant.  I assure you, if we thought we were a health threat in anyway shape or form, we would have brought that up before your sensei adopted us."

            "Beyond the drugs, the wires themselves are painful to use until your body has integrated them properly.  It's like trying to grow a clock.  Until the gears are all at the right alignment and position, any motion just causes grinding and damage.  In this case, the damage is to any tissue that may have tried to grow around the wire.  Since movement is so detrimental to the healing process, and any motion, no matter how casual, can cause damage, nuero-wire heals over obscenely long stretches of time."  

"Prolonged disuse becomes a factor.  Muscles begin to atrophy, or waste away when they should be growing.  Physical rehabilitation is not only painful but entirely necessary."

"Finally, all of this came at a time when the review board looked over our budget and announced that healthy mutants did not require so much funding for drugs.  Pipes had become addicted to daily morphine injections, and suddenly there were none."

  Donatello's eye ridges rose, "Morphine withdrawal?"  He looked at Pipes with new respect.  "How old were you?"

+"About ten or eleven.  Life sucked pretty hard for a while there.  Thankfully I was allotted a small dose of morphine daily after the surgery, just like all the other volunteers.  It helped ease the transition a bit."+  

Cabbage muttered loudly, "A bit!  Girl, they transferred you to a separate room and strapped you to a bed for a month.  With that damn immuno-repression drug in your system, they could have killed you with bedsores alone.  It's no wonder that Perry's long-term sedative turns your brain to sludge.  Between the childhood morphine addiction, the months of immuno-repressive drug treatment, the heavy-duty antibiotics required to keep you health in your immune system's absence, and the following years of anti-inflammatory drug treatments for the joints in your hands, your body has dealt with more drugs than a Betty Ford Clinic.  I'm surprised you have any gray matter LEFT."  Cabbage growled under her breath, "Fucking humans."  She quickly looked over her shoulder to make sure Casey hadn't heard her.  Satisfied that there was no response, she returned to kneading the muscles in Leo's arm.

Pipes shook her head slowly.  Her grin was lop-sided as she looked to Shima.  The two of them spoke in unison, +"That which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."+  

Cabbage glared at them.  "That which doesn't kill you, makes you STRANGER."  Her eyes rested on Pipes' hands, but Pipes just shrugged.

Pipes and Cabbage had slowly worked up Leo's forearms and were started on his biceps.  He was getting nervous again.

Cabbage sighed.  "Leo, this is supposed to feel good.  If it doesn't, Pipes and I can stop.  If it does, then I want you to RELAX."

Leo made an effort to relax.

Pipes chuckled and spoke in a thick German accent.  +"Repeat afta me: zee Mah-zahdj ist mein frend."+

Cabbage giggled and repeated, "The massage is my friend."

+"Zee Mah-zahdj ist naught unt BEEG Ha-Ree schpy-Der."+

"The massage is not a big hairy spider."

  +"Zee Mah-zahdj vill naught lock me up undst trow me in zee bazement."+ 

"The massage will not lock me up and throw me in the basement."

Raphael grinned as his pain-in-the-ass brother slowly let down his guard and relaxed under his sisters' hands.  'Well, what do you know?  They actually got him smiling.  I never figured he'd let himself enjoy it.  And here I thought you couldn't pull a needle out of that guy's ass with a tractor.  Maybe Leo ain't so uptight after all.'

Donatello cleared his throat, "So Cabbage, how did you fit in with this nuero-wire project?"

Cabbage smiled sadly, "It was the first experimental surgery I ever designed and performed."


	8. Don't panic, the story's all here

Never-NeverLand—Chapter 9

Donatello cleared his throat, "So Cabbage, how did you fit in with this nuero-wire project?"

Cabbage smiled sadly, "It was the first experimental surgery I ever designed and performed."

Donatello sat forward.  "Are you telling me that your first surgery involved reconstruction of your sister's hands?!"

Cabbage pushed down hard on a knot in Leo's tricep, making him grunt.  "No, I had performed numerous other surgeries.  I'd also designed more than a dozen reconstruction procedures that other surgical teams used on their operating tables.  Which is why I was the obvious candidate to plan and execute this particular surgery.  It's the difference between planning or participating in something and actually being IN CHARGE of both aspects of it."  

Leonardo looked down at Cabbage, "I thought you said you were ten or eleven years old?"

Cabbage looked to Shima and Pipes.  "You guys ready to trade out?"

Shima nodded and vacated her position as storyteller.  Sterling slid backward along the door and woke up when Cabbage pushed her upright again.  "It's ok.  Shima's just tired of talking.  You can go back to sleep."  Sterling nodded and leaned her shell against her sister, but her eyes stayed open.

Pipes clapped Leo on the shoulder, and leaned close speaking in a stage-whisper.  +"Margo's been hitting the sauce again.  I didn't want to have to tell you in front of the others.  You have no idea what it's doing to Devon.  He's making a fool of himself over Charlene.  And all because of you, Todd."+

Leonardo traded confused glances with Raphael and Donatello.

Mike sat forward, "Todd?"

Cabbage rolled her eyes.  "The first and only time they let her watch TV was during rehab.  I don't think I've ever gotten her to explain half the things she quotes, but mostly, I blame the drugs."

Pipes moved over to Donatello, and looked over her shoulder.  +"It's no good, can't you see?!  How many times do I have to tell you?  No, no, don't say anything.  Just remember: when this nightmare is over, I'll still have Scott."+  She put her hand on Donnie's shell.  +"All you'll have is a pocketful of memories and lint."+  

Pipes bust up laughing at the sight of Leonardo's confused expression.  Mike couldn't stop himself from joining in; Leo's face was priceless.  Even Raphael chuckled quietly, 'So much for getting Leo to relax.  She's got him wondering if she's gonna suddenly hit him with a fish or something.'

Donatello just wasn't sure he wanted a massage from this one.  She was still laughing WAY too hard.  "What's so funny?"  

+"Leo!"+  Pipes waved vaguely at him.  +"He looks like a stunned bunny!"+

Mikey lost it again.

Donnie rolled his eyes, but smiled hugely.  He settled down comfortably in between Shima and Pipes, sighing happily when they started in on his shoulders.  

Leonardo shrugged off the 'stunned bunny' comment and addressed Cabbage.  "So how old were you?  When you inserted nuero-wire into your sister's hands?"

            Cabbage hugged her knees, "I was ten or eleven.  I know that seems obscenely young, but then we were NOT children.  We were mutants.  Our educations were focused on our field of study.  We didn't get a well-rounded education.  There were no questions like 'what are you gonna be when you grow up?'  There were no choices.  We didn't go home at 3pm to watch TV.  We didn't have P.E. or recess or after-school community sing-alongs."  

"The humans wanted results, and we obeyed.  They had me dissecting cadavers when I was seven.  By that time, Shima spoke four or five different languages fluently.  Sterling was studying for her Engineering Certification Exams."  

"We worked.  That's what mutants do."  

"At the time, it didn't seem strange.  I had been trained to perform surgeries and conduct laboratory experiments.  It didn't matter to me that I was only eleven.  I had never known what real eleven year olds did.  I was not human.  It didn't matter what human children did.  For all I knew, I was at middle age already for a mutant turtle.  I did what I was told, and planned the best possible augmentation for my sister and the nineteen others who underwent the same surgery." 

"I practiced using mock-up wiring on various cadavers.  I experimented with various resistances and physical support structures.  I collaborated with Sterling to design the most mechanically sound model for support, strength, and flexibility.  I researched contortionistic techniques and muscle adaptations.  I ran tests on Pipes' skin's elasticity.  I didn't want to install implants that would rip out her epidermal layers.  I smuggled mineral supplements into her food for the months preceding the surgery, hoping that her bones would be strong enough to handle the stresses that the nuero-wires would put on them.  Short of stress-testing, I had no way of knowing whether her bones would break.  I smuggled cartilage implants into the operating room and replaced discs in her knuckles.  Though it became evident that I couldn't replace half of them until I'd first broken the bones at the points were they had fused."

+"Yup.  She took my hands apart, polished the parts, wired 'em together and lubed 'em down before she threw the whole thing back together!"+    Pipes yawned.  +"Oooo-Ah!  Excuse me."+  She leaned on Donatello's arm.  +"She's a brilliant doctor.  I was really lucky."+

Cabbage stared at her toes.  "I put you through a lot of pain and danger.  I'm lucky I didn't kill you."

Pipes was at her sister's side.  +"Don't.  Ok?  It's eight years later, and I'm healthy.  You're the only reason I can still use my hands at all, let alone with any degree of skill.  Yes, it was terrible.  I don't wanna do it again, but if I had to, I'd want you to do the honors."+   

Pipes flexed her hands proudly. +"You rebuilt something that the humans didn't think was salvageable.  I trained twice as hard when you were done and did things with only six fingers in music that humans can only aspire to do with ten.  Sure, it's not natural, but then again…+"  She chuckled quietly, +"Neither am I."+   

Pipes smiled and playfully backhanded Cabbage's shoulder.  +"Cheer up!  We've still got those five questions that the guys have to answer truthfully, remember?"+

You can blame the stomach flu for my sudden spate of creative output.  You can also blame the stomach flu if you think the whole nuero-wire thing is shite.  Hell, blame the stomach-flu for global warming, euthanasia, the existence of dung beetles, and Pat Sajack.  I already have.  Please send me an email.  I'm sick and lonely, hence the weird-ass chapter 8 thing.  Review me, flame me, reconstruct my cat's skeletal structure using Lincoln Logs and Bubble Yum, whatever.  sniffle, quease, quease, naus, naus.  Thank you to the folks who've written things this week.  I appreciate being able to read THE NEXT CHAPTER OF_________.  Always a good time. J  I really thought I needed to say something at the end of this chapter.  I guess I did. --kyabetsu


	9. Question 1

Never-NeverLand – Chapter 10

            Shima's teeth glinted in the flickering lights of the passing cars.  "That's right.  We get to ask any five things we want, don't we?"  Donatello shifted uneasily.  The angel who'd been running her nails along his arm had suddenly sprouted horns and fangs.  

            "What's that rhyme?  There was a little girl/ with a little curl/ in the middle of her forehead. / When she was good,/ she was awfully good/ but when she was bad/ she was horrid."  

            Shima's eyes were laughing.  "That couldn't be about any of us!  No hair!"  Donnie blinked in confusion as she scurried on hands and knees over to her sisters. 

            Raphael solved the mystery for him.  "Dude, you said that out loud."  Donnie couldn't've cared less.  

            'When she's bent over like that, I can see her little tail peeking out from her shell.'  A warm feeling spread through his gut and a goofy smile bloomed on his face.  He was interrupted as Leo hit him in the shoulder. "Ow.  What, Leo?"

            "Will you quit staring?!"  Leo hissed.

            Donatello quickly dropped his gaze, the warm feeling rushing to his face.  He could hear Michelangelo and Raphael snickering.

            Thankfully, it didn't seem like any of the girls had noticed.  They grouped in a whispering cluster behind Master Splinter's seat.  From the gestures, giggles, and murmuring, they were clearly debating their options.  "You can't ask THAT!"  Peels of laughter followed Cabbage's scandalized exclamation.

            The guys exchanged worried glances.  "This doesn't look good." 

            For what felt like the hundredth time that evening, Sterling cursed her stupid jaw.  'There have been so many times when I just wanted to speak my mind, and instead I just get to sit here like a lump and watch my sisters have all the fun.  This sucks.'  She returned her attention to the debate in front of her.  

            "So that's it?  We each get one question of our own, and for the fifth one we actually have to agree."  Shima looked around at her sisters.  "The less we have to compromise with one another, the quicker we can start."  Her sisters nodded.  Mikey nodded.  

            Shima blinked.

            "MIKEY!"

+"Get OUT of the circle!  It's for girls ONLY!"+

"Shoo!  Git!  When did YOU become a girl?"

Sterling slapped him on the back of his thigh as he beat a hasty retreat to the guys' side of the van.

Raph shook his head, "You are the worst spy in history."  

"Ow, that stings."  Mikey rubbed the back of his leg.  "Your girl's violent, huh Raph?"

Raph had Mike pinned up against the cooler.  "She AIN'T my girl.  And she ain't NEARLY as violent as ME."

Mikey batted his eyelids.  "Eef you keel me, Meester Bond, Ay cannut tell yoo vat Ay know."

Donnie put a hand on Raph's shoulder; Raph let go.  "You actually heard something in the three seconds you were gone?"

Mikey smiled, "Uh, no.  But you didn't know that, did you?"

Leo sighed and pulled Mikey into a headlock.  

Cabbage looked over at the boys.  "Well, they're having fun, aren't they?  I don't think I've ever seen anyone get noogies from three people at once."

Sterling clapped her hands near Cabbage's ear.  "Huh?!  Okay, Okay.  I'm paying attention…"  She looked down at the notebook.  

Pipes tapped the pencil against her teeth.  +"We've got the group one figured out., and Sterling's written hers down.  We're ready to go!"+  She craned her neck to see over her sisters' shells.  +"What are they doing?"+

Shima shook her head.  "I heard Mike say 'Italian arm-wrestling,' but--"  Raphael and Mike lay facing each other with their elbows on the floor of the van.  Mikey was clearly explaining the rules to Raph.  Their pinkies were linked and Donatello gave them a three count.  "If they just pull, one of them's gonna get hit in the—"  Mike let go suddenly and Raph's fist flew back and punched his own beak.  "Face."

"You little snot-sucker!  Just you wait 'til I get my hands on you!"  Leo and Don each held one of Raph's arms, while Mikey scooted around beside the girls.

"Sanctuary!  Sanctuary!"

Shima smirked.  "Alright, but you have to live in the belltower."  Leonardo and Donatello laughed, but no one else seemed to catch the reference.  She winked at them, and then announced, "We've got our five questions."

"Go on back to your brothers, it's crowded over here."  Cabbage nudged Mikey back to the boys' side of the van.  She smiled at them, dimpling ever so slightly.  "We know you'll give honest answers, but the questions are for all of you—so you'll have to reach a consensus before you reply.  Honesty by democracy, Ok?"  

Raphael squirmed.  "They gonna give us blindfolds and a cigarette first, or are they just gonna scream 'Fire!'?"

Donatello spared his brother a withering glance.  "Oh, can the melodrama!  It won't be that bad!  I mean, what could they ask?"

Leo muttered, "Don't ask."

Mikey leaned back, tucking his hands behind his head.  He grinned confidently, "Bring it on."

Cabbage smiled; Leo was learning to associate dimples with danger.  "Ok, the first one's easy.  Who's the cutest?"

The van was silent for all of point five seconds before Mikey cheerfully proclaimed, "YOU are!"

Laughing quietly, Cabbage shook her head and waved her hands as if to push his words back.  "No silly!  Out of you four!  Who's the cutest BROTHER?"  

"And anyways, Romeo, weren't we supposed to VOTE?"  Donnie knocked on the back of Mikey's shell, trying to get his brother's attention.  Poor Mike's green skin turned blush brown and without his facemask, it was painfully obvious.  

Cabbage caught his hand and gave it a squeeze.  "Thank you.  That was very sweet.  Now go on, they're voting without you."

Pipes watched quietly.  'That's the way the wind blows, huh?  It makes sense.  Cabbage is the dimpled darling.  It's ok.  Give things time, girl.  He hardly knows you, or you him for that matter.'  She idly flipped the tails of his bandana through her fingers.  'He was only being honest.  She IS cuter.  Cabbage, why do you have to be so perfect, huh?'  Pipes forced a smile, knowing that the guys couldn't tell the difference between it and the real thing just yet, and that her sisters wouldn't ask until later.  'I love Cabbage.  She's my sister.  I want her to be happy.'  Pipes felt like she'd swallowed a rock.  

Mike's smile was back in place as he leaned into the huddle.

"Okay Mike, who's the cutest?"

"Cabbage."

"Bzzzzzt!  Wrong answer!  Remember?  Three seconds ago?  Who's the cutest BROTHER, Mike?"

"Aw, hell.  Uh, Raph."

"What!?"

Leo and Don sniggered, "Yeah, that's what we said too."

"I am NOT cute."

"Dude, you're fuckin' Little Bunny Foo Foo, man!  How's that not cute?"

"I am NOT cute."

"Votes for Raphael being the 'cute one'?"

"Yay."

"Yay."

"Yay."

"NAY!  You fuckers! NAY!"

Donnie turned to Leo, "Democracy is a beautiful thing."

Leo nodded and addressed the girls, "Raph is clearly the cutest one out of us all."  

All eyes homed in on an irate turtle leaning against the cooler in the back.  He flipped off his brothers and said it once more, "I am NOT fuckin' cute!"  He stared off into the distance, pounding one fist into the palm of his other hand.  As laughter filled the van, Sterling caught just the traces of a smile in the corners of his beak, before he squashed it with a forceful frown.


	10. Questions 2 and 3

Never-NeverLand – Chapter 11

            When Shima caught her breath, she turned smiling to her sister.  "That it from you, Cabbage?"  

            "Go right ahead, Shima."

            "Thank you.  For my question I wanted to ask, 'What are ninja?'"  The girls settled back, and waited for an answer.

             Leo blinked as the words splashed like water over his mind.  His body dissolved into a sea of impressions, sensations, intuitions, and shadows, releasing him into a world of crystal clarity.  He felt every inch of his surroundings, knew them like he knew the weight and balance of the blades on his back.  He felt his brothers beside him, heard their heartbeats, and sensed that they shared his difficulty.  Like a drowning man, he cast about in his mind for the words to describe the rushing intensity of the shadowy rooftops.  Flying unseen, four spirits, four powers spinning through the night, limitless and flowing on a river of wind.  Strong because they could kill, but chose not to.  Ninja were the only ones truly alive in a sleepwalking world.  

With his weapons and his brothers, Leonardo's life had purpose.  They guarded the honor of an entire city, protecting it from itself.  Keeping the art honed and perfect, in his body and mind was a sacred trust; using it wisely, a lifelong covenant.  Splinter's teachings had granted him a living legacy, a daily inheritance.  Leonardo struggled to explain his thoughts.   

Ninjitsu meant 'family' for Donatello.  He honored his father and fought alongside his brothers.  They shared something that the humans never defined, a place the humans could not taint.  The strength of his body and his mind was absolute with his brothers beside him.  His mouth opened, but no words came out.

Michelangelo knew that 'ninja' meant more than adrenaline rushes and endorphin highs.  He'd read something once long ago in a children's book that had echoed so deeply in his soul, that it he'd taken it away inside himself as a touchstone for when things got too miserable.   

"I hate it!"  Charles Wallace cried passionately.  "I hate the dark thing!"…

_Mrs. Whatsit nodded.  "Yes, Charles dear.  We all do."…_

_"And we're not alone, you know, children," came Mrs. Whatsit, the comforter.  "All through the universe it's being fought, all through the cosmos, and my, but it's a grand and exciting battle.  I know it's hard for you to understand about size, how there's very little difference in the size of the tiniest microbe and the greatest galaxy.  You think about that, and maybe it won't seem strange to you that some of our very best fighters have come right from your own planet, and it's a _little_ planet, dears, out on the edge of a little galaxy.  You can be proud it's done so well."…_

_ "Who have our fighters been?" Calvin asked._

_"Oh_, you_ must know them, dear," Mrs. Whatsit said._

_Mrs. Who's spectacles shone out at them triumphantly, "_And the light shineth in the darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not_."_

_"Jesus!" Charles Wallace said._

"…Go on, Charles, love.  There were others.  All your great artists.  They've been lights for us to see by."

_"Leonardo da Vinci?"  Calvin suggested tentatively.  "And Michelangelo?"_

_"And Shakespeare," Charles Wallace called out, "and Bach!  And Pasteur and Madame Curie and Einstein!"_

_Now Calvin's voice rang with confidence.  "And Schweitzer and Ghandi and Buddha and Beethoven and Rembrandt and St. Francis!" _

--A Wrinkle in Time.  Madeleine L'Engle.  Laurel Leaf Books, 1984.  (pgs. 84-85).

As a child, Michelangelo never forgot that HIS name was listed as a fighter for good.   He shook his head knowing that it would only seem stupid if he said it out loud.

Raphael only knew that he never felt hated, or freakish, or awkward, or lonely, or worthless when he escaped into the Art.  Words told truths that hurt, but there was no room for words in the instinctive currents of Ninjitsu.  Hurtful thoughts couldn't follow him; no one could cause him pain.  In fact, the pain flowed the opposite direction.  He didn't suffer, but others did… only those who deserved it, but that was just another facet.  HE chose.  HE was in control.  Raphael would not be the victim.  He stared at the passing glare of the billboards, completely unable to verbalize his feelings.

Shima sat back and unfolded her consciousness.  It had been months since she last 'took it all in._'  She remained anchored to her body, bobbing gently like a balloon on a string.  She felt Splinter hovering over his sons' minds like a polite honeybee.  Smiling, she imagined herself as a vine:  a morning glory that climbed and twined and sought the sun.  There were four of them, burning with emotions, but so many of their thoughts overlapped, that until she grew near, they seemed as one.  She nestled herself gently among them, careful not to touch their personal spaces, and calmly absorbed the emotions they were trying to project.  Pride.  Strength.  Security.  Family.  Devotion.  Power.  Unity.  Purpose.  _

_Splinter settled on one of her leaves and she spoke to him silently.  "The humans had me learn over 30 different languages.  The one thing I know for a fact is that words are irrelevant." _

_She felt his laughter, and realized she'd just been hypocritical?  or paradoxical? or maybe self-contradictory?  _Her frustration with herself brought her back to her body.  She could hear Splinter chuckling in the front seat.  "Don't worry child, it will come in time.  Don't hurry to be old."

All of half a minute had passed and Cabbage was tired of watching the guys make funny faces.  "Well," she prompted, "What are ninja?"

Leonardo looked at his brothers, who shrugged.  "We are."

There was a general nodding and grinning amongst the brothers.  As far as they were concerned, that summed it up.  

"Yeah, gimme three, bro."  Mike and Leo swapped 'high threes' and went into a complicated secret handshake.

"That's it?"  Cabbage looked shocked.  "I'd been expecting something more… oh, I don't know… EXPLANATORY."

Shima put her hand on Cabbage's shoulder.  "It's ok.  It was my question, and I think I understood the answer."  Her eyes sent a chill down Leonardo's spine.  

'I wouldn't be surprised if she did understand.'  

Pipes cleared her throat, +"Eh-HEM."+  She held the notebook, +"I want to get to Sterling's question before I forget that it's written down."+  Sterling folded her arms; Raphael studied her when she wasn't watching.

'Wonder what kinda question she's gonna ask; probably something about the number of electric sockets in the Lair.'

Pipes pitched her voice in Sterling's low tones, "Is it true that assassins do it from behind?"

In the heartbeat that followed, Sterling felt her brothers' eyes lock themselves onto her in disbelief.  Her face lit up like a glowing coal, whether from embarrassment or anger, she couldn't say.  'Ok, sister or not, you life expectancy is now measured in minutes.'

"NNNNNNGGGGGG!!!"  Sterling lunged across the van to snag the notebook from her sister.  Mikey was rolling on the floor with laughter.  Leo sat in stunned silence.  Casey was cackling in the front seat.  "MMMNNNGGGG!!"

+"What was that Sterling?  Did you say something?  Wasn't that your question?"+  Pipes threw the notebook to Shima, who immediately passed it off to Cabbage, who tore out the top five pages, balled them up and let them get batted around the van.  

Donatello sat there open-mouthed until Mike stuffed one of the paper wads into it.  

Raphael had his eyes shut as he clutched his sides.  He was laughing so hard his shoulders shook.  

Splinter's face peering around the back of his chair brought an immediate silence to the back of the van.  He smiled, "No.  It happen quickly and without trace."  He chuckled as he faced front again.  "I made another funny."


	11. Welcome to NeverNeverLand

Never-NeverLand – Chapter 12

            Casey called out over the laughter in the back seat, "Domeys!  Duck and cover!  We're coming up on the toll bridge, and I don't wanna have to explain you guys to the attendant."

            Splinter was already a mass of blankets and pillows.  He looked for all the world like a sleeping child.  The guys took his cue and raised the blankets off the floor of the van.  "Quickly now, crawl under!  Tuck into your shells and don't move."  Leonardo and Michelangelo draped a comforter over Shima, Pipes, and Cabbage.  They moved to share a bed spread with Donatello.  Sterling glanced at Raphael.  He was waiting impatiently for her to get under the remaining afghan. 

            'Pull into our shells they say.  I'm not Pipes-tiny.  My legs don't fit.  And my jaw is still too swollen to fit past my collarbone.  I hope there's enough blanket.'

            Raphael was also concerned.  'This yarn thing is just a jumble of holes.  I hate to rely on the human not looking just to stay hidden-- ESPECIALLY when I'm hiding with an amateur.'  He cast around for some of the trench coats, and sprawled them over top of her bulky form.  'There, can't tell her from luggage.'

            Casey pulled into line at the toll plaza.  "Yo, Raphy Foo Foo.  You're not queen of the Rose Parade, you know.  Hide!"

            'Shit.'  Raph looked around.  There were no more covers.  There should be some space left under the afghan with Sterling, but it was gonna be tight.  'I don't wanna get that close to her.'  He didn't let himself dwell on why.

            Casey pulled up one car closer and checked his rear view mirror.  The afghan in the back looked like the luggage underneath it had been stacked.  Casey smirked to himself, 'Alright Raph!  Duck and cover, baby.'

            Raphael lay on his side, perfectly still.  His plastron was pressed up alongside her back.  He fit into his shell about as poorly as she did.  Where she was just too lanky; his own muscular limbs hindered him.   She lay on her stomach, face towards him, the tender side of her head turned away from the floor. He could not see the fear in her eyes, but her felt her breath on his cheek and her rapid heartbeat beneath him.  She was breathing to quickly and too shallowly.  The weight of the coats and the afghan, plus her panic, and her inability to open her mouth would probably force her to hyperventilate soon.  Raphael remembered having to deal with some of Mike's fits; his mind raced.  'I don't got a paper bag.  I can't lift the covers.  I'm already at the edge of the blanket, I can't give her any more space.' 

            Praying he was still completely covered, Raphael inched his shoulders back a little further away from her, lifting some of his upper-body weight off her shell.  He snaked out an arm slowly and pulled out her wrist closest to him.  She had been laying with it faced down, her shoulder resting on the back of her hand, but he turned it over and ever so gently curled and uncurled his fingers along its sensitive underside.  He couldn't see her face in the dark, but his other senses told him her immediate reaction had been surprise.  He felt her start, heard her breathing catch.  She had tensed for half a second, before he felt the change in her heart rate.  Her breathing evened out and slowed down.  He'd seen her sisters use this petting technique on one another.  'God, don't think of it as petting.'  She was calm, peaceful, and now that he wasn't worried about her, he felt a whole new list of words rise up in his mind.

            'Quit it Raph.  Just quit it.'  She smelled good: clean and soapy, but there was something a little musky hiding beneath that.  It smelled almost spicy, but it reminded him of honey: honey and cinnamon.  

            The soft skin on her wrist fascinated him.  He kept curling and uncurling his fingers, just so that he could feel it.  He was scared to use too much pressure for fear that he might hurt her.  In the dark, the only sounds beyond their breath were the gauzy whispers of his roughened fingers on her silky skin.  'I wonder if she's this soft everywhere.' 

            Cursing his train of thought, Raphael became acutely aware of the vibrations along his stomach where his plastron and her shell shook against each other with the humming of the van's engine.  'I'm gonna go crazy if I don't get out from under this thing soon.'  

            Sterling had never felt so confused in her life.  She was scared.  There were humans on the other side of this blanket.  They would take her back to that horrible place, and they would kill her new family.  However, the guys had lived out among the humans for years and they were strong and skilled and she trusted them.  It was almost an adventure.  Though she felt ashamed for it, she was excited by the chance of getting caught, even if it was only because she knew the guys would never let it happen.

With the afghan and the coats and the hard van floor and its scratchy carpet, she was thoroughly uncomfortable.  Her jaw was throbbing, her legs were cramping, and Raphael was breathing on her face.  Then again, 'Raphael is breathing on my face.'  Maybe that bit wasn't so bad.  His breath didn't smell like anything in particular, but the scent of the rest of him was so potent.  'Salty.  Musky.  Occasional whiffs of soap.  He smells of clean sweat and leather.'  She fought the temptation to snuggle closer.  'He's already laying on top of you, girl!  Jeez, you're supposed to be hiding!'  Sterling would have smiled if her jaw had allowed it.  She never wanted to move again.  

She had nearly jumped out of her shell when he touched her wrist like that.  She was mad; only her sisters were allowed to touch her like that.  It was intimate.  It was private.  It was a signal for use by family only.  'He is family.  He's trying to put your mind at ease, just like your sisters do.  Calm down.  He's being NICE to you.'  The gentle rhythm of his thick fingers soothed her.  He never varied from the original pattern.  He wasn't going to try anything.  She felt safe and so happy that her brother cared.

  'Brother, huh?'  A traitorous little voice inside her whispered, 'You don't what him to _care_ for you as a brother.  You want him to _like_ you.  You want him to _want_ you.'  Pride drew her to a screeching halt.  'I've lived 18 years without even once thinking that I needed anyone but my sisters.  I don't know him.  He doesn't know me.  He's a proud, arrogant, angry, violent, spiteful, juvenile sweetheart with a sense of honor that you could bend steel bars around.  I think.'  Pride bowed to irrational logic, and Sterling was left trying to figure out what she thought.  'This is SO COMPLICATED!  I wish I didn't care whether or not he likes me.'

Casey bellowed, "Alright Ladies!  Com'mon out and see the bright lights of the Big Apple!"  The girders on the bridge flashed by as the turtles popped up from under the blankets like daisies after a rainstorm.  

"All those lights!  That'a A LOT of lights!"  Cabbage gawked openly.

Pipes grinned, +"Yes.  A lot of lights: the obvious is truly your forte."+ 

 "You'd think with all those voices you'd have something useful to say."

Pipes chuckled wryly.  +"Oh, I don't know.  You've only got one voice and I've not heard anything useful from you yet."+

Shima sighed, "Knock it off you two."  She turned to Donnie, "It's like pissing on a forest fire; sometimes I wonder why I bother."

Donnie nodded, "I know what you mean."  Leo and Raph shot him dirty looks.

---kyabetsu here:

Ok, just 'cause I thought y'all'd get a kick out of it, I did a little illustration from Chapter 5 (IT"S SO CUTE!) and posted it on my ff.net author profile page thing.  

Yes I spelled my name wrong – if you can read hirangana, I'm sure you'd point that out to me.  BUT I realized my stupid gaijin mistake and fixed it on the original.  I didn't bother to rescan for one lousy character though, so for all intense purposes, kyabesu = kyabetsu.  

For those of you good little girls and boys who wouldn't dare contradict an author with an incomplete story in the works: you have my permission to eat cookies, skip your next day of classes, and prank call Pat Sajack.  :) 

Toodles!  (and Review me or um, I won't have Reviews.)


	12. Here There be Monsters

Never-NeverLand – Chapter 13

            Mike watched the girls as the van pulled through the darkened streets of pre-dawn New York.  At four thirty AM, the city staggered along, desperate to finish the night, but not willing to start the morning.  Sleeping apartment buildings, towering skyscrapers, and dimmed shop windows lined the largely vacant street like dirty stained glass panels lining the nave of a dim cathedral.  Occasional shouts, or the barking of stray dogs filtered down the side streets.  The girls sat huddled together and draped in a blanket, staring wide-eyed at the billboards, fire escapes, and traffic lights panning by their stunned faces.  'They look so overwhelmed.  They're like little kids, trying to take in everything at once.'  He smiled.  It wasn't like he owned the city, but it was his home and he was so excited to share it with them.  Mike chuckled to himself, 'Proud to be a New Yorker?  Aaah, why the fuck not!?'    

Mike's enthusiasm hit the skids suddenly when he recognized the gleam in their eyes for what it was:  panic.  

Leo was nervous; the girls were so quiet.  Even Sterling had seemed excited by the tall bridge as it spanned the Hudson.  Now they just seemed subdued.

Raphael sat forward.  'There's something eatin' at them.  They've gone all edgy.'  He scanned the passing scenery for potential danger.  'Nuthin.'  His city-bred eyes passing right over the biggest threat of all.

Donatello put his hand on Shima's shoulder.  She startled and turned to him, worry lines etching her face and digging hollows under her staring eyes.  "Oh Donnie, how can we possibly hide from all these humans?!"  Her voice whispered raggedly through the van.  "They must be _everywhere_."  She swallowed with difficulty, turning back to the windows as if the humans would attack the instant she lapsed in her vigil.

            'They're not even blinking.'  Donnie's stomach tied itself in knots.  'We've just brought 'em into the scariest place possible.' He moved closer to her, eager to relieve her fears.  "Shima… We don't live up here; you're right, there _would_ be too many humans.  We live _below_ the city – where the humans don't go."

            +"But what if they found us?  How would we get away from them all?"+  Pipes blurted out.  Her voice trembled; sounding as though it tumbled end over end out of her mouth, like she'd pushed her thoughts out over the edge of her fear.

            "We won't let them find us."  Leonardo's tone left no room for doubt.  His arms crossed over his chest and a stern light in his eyes seemed to turn his statement into fact.  

Cabbage's face relaxed slightly as she hesitantly asked, "Promise?"

Leonardo softened his expression.  He leaned forward, cupped her chin in his sword-callused hand, and tilted her head up to look her in the eye.  "Promise."

Mike made a mental note to talk with Leonardo about being too friendly with Cabbage: 'Next time he touches her, I beat the shit out of him.'  

He shook himself.   That was then.  Right now, all his sisters were scared.  He elaborated on Leo's simple claim.  "Yeah, the humans can't find us 'cause we patrol regularly and Donnie made all these sensors and alarms and beeping-human-detecting-gizmos and set'em up all around the lair and Master Splinter can sense what the folks in frickin' _New Hampshire_ had for lunch, let alone who's approaching the lair—"

He cut off abruptly, "What?"

Pipes giggled as a few tears escaped her eyes.  +"Oh Mikey!"+  Her smile was dazzling, but he only caught a glimpse of it before he had an armful of laughing, crying, hiccupping Pipes wrapped around his neck.  Too shocked to do much else, he hugged her back, rubbing her shell until she calmed.  She let go reluctantly; he couldn't help but smile, her tears had stopped, but her hiccups remained.  

hic…hic…hic…'Silly 'lil sister.'

"Try holding your breath for 10, then breath in again without breathing out and hold it all for 30."  Mike sat down next to her, smiling as he watched her try to hold her breath despite the hiccups.  

Shima reached up and took Donnie's hand from her shoulder, squeezing it tight.  "We trust you."  She had yet to peel her eyes from the windows, but her mouth curved into a small worried grin.

            Splinter leaned over, releasing his seat belt.  He slipped into the back of the van and tapped Raphael on the shoulder.  "Casey will need directions soon."  Raphael silently nodded, and moved up to the front.  Splinter sat on the floor amongst his daughters.  He laid a tender hand on Sterling's forehead, sketching her emotional state in his mind.  _Deep anxiety.  Trust.  Controlled panic.  Hope.  Exhaustion.  _His sounding triggered echoes from the psyches of his other three daughters.  "Continue to be brave my daughters.  We are moments from home."

            They all drew closer to him, embracing him, and taking comfort in his presence.  

            The van pulled into the dead end alleyway behind Vinny's Pizza and parked beside the dumpsters, effectively blocking the back half of the passage from casual view.  Casey cut the engine, and called out, "New York City!  Last stop.  Everybody off the train!"  He leaned over to Raph who was shrugging into his trench coat.  "They ok?  They sounded a little freaked out back there."

            Raphael glared at him, "_Freaked_ out?"

            Casey rolled his eyes.  "You know what I mean, Foo Fucker."

            Raphael spoke through clenched teeth. "Yeah.  I'm sure they'll be fine.  Which is more than I can say for you if you call me 'Foo"-anything ever again."

            "Yeah, yeah."  Casey waved off Raph's threat.  "Fine, Bunny-Boy.  Look, I know everybody's bushed so we'll discuss the beers you owe me later, over those beers you owe me.  Cool?"

            "Go to Hell, Casey."  Raphael put on his fedora.  "Yeah, beers later."  He opened the door, "Oh, and thanks," and went over to open the manhole at the end of the alley.  

kyabetsu here---

It occurs to me that I have yet to say, "Thanks," for all the reviews I've received, and heaven forbid that RAPHAEL be more polite than me.  So in the spirit of genuine gratitude, "Thank you."  :)

ps… does the ff.net IM thing work for anyone else?

pps… can you guys see the profile picture?

ppps… Can you keep a secret?

pppps…just wondering.


	13. 3rd Tunnel to the Right & Straight on ti...

Never-NeverLand – Chapter 14

            Sterling fought off another painful urge to yawn.  'I think the only thing keeping me awake right now is leftover adrenaline.'  Splinter's comforting presence had taken the edge off her initial panic, and even the remainder of that rush was ebbing.  'Shima and I've been awake since before dawn.  Then there was that run; damn do I have a new respect for those guys.  I have no idea how Raphael ran that far that fast.'  Sterling swallowed another yawn.  'Owch. Then Shima scared the shit out of us.  Um, then there was the bonfire.  Crap.  That's right.  Pipes convinced me to dance.  How the hell does she do shit like that?  And then we waited forever for the human that wasn't the human we were waiting for.  Um.  April and Casey.'  She blinked muzzily.  'That's Casey up there, so April's the one he's not.'  Sterling shivered, 'Yup.  Definitely tired.  Gettin' cold and stupid.  Hate that.  Though I'd hate to be Donnie when Shima finally crashes.  Heh. Heh.'  Sterling shivered in a passive lump, watching her sisters cope with their exhaustion.  'They're funny when they're sleepy.'  She blinked to clear the sleep gathering at the corners of her eyes.  

            Cabbage contemplated Splinter's fur.  "It's so soft.  I had a teddy bear once, but it wasn't this soft.  He's teddy bear brown, too.  I feel safe right here.  I can smell that tea he drinks and some of the incense he burns at night.  He keeps calling us 'daughters' does that mean he's our father?  Daddy.  I've got a family: a BIG family with sisters and brothers and a DAD.  Haiku: My Father Soft-Fur./ Hold me in arms brown and safe./ Apple tree cradle."  Grinning sleepily, Cabbage forgot her words the moment they slipped out of her mouth, but she felt their soothing effect, and laid her head contentedly on Splinter's shoulder.  Splinter's whiskers twitched violently at the words 'Daddy', 'Dad,' and 'Haiku.'  Leo hid his smile behind his hand; he'd never seen anyone look so dignified and so confused at once.  

            Pipes' hiccups had subsided by the time the van pulled into the alley.  Mike noticed that her face seemed a bit flushed and her eyes were a bit glassy, but every time he asked if she was ok, she nodded with the jittery energy of a caffeine addict.  'Okay.  If she says she's alright, um, damn she's weird.'  She stayed silent until the van stopped and Leo, Don, and Mike had put on their trench coats and were searching for their fedoras.  

            Fits of Pipes-style giggles filled the van. +"Oh!  Oh!  Guys!  Sing that 'Three Little Maids from School are We…' song!  Ha ha ha!  Matching Bogarts!  Wahahaha…"+  She stopped suddenly, only to burst out again a heartbeat later.  This time she was laughing so hard, she was almost silent.  

            "Dudette, what's with you?"  Mike exchanged looks with his brothers.  Pipes just shook her head; she was laughing too hard to explain.

            Shima jumped in, "It's ok.  She's past the 'Little Teapot Point.'"  She could see that this had only served to confuse her brothers and send her sister off into another fit of giggles.  "She's tired.  She's beyond tired.  She's at that point where absolutely anything and everything is hysterically funny.  When we were little we called it the 'Little Teapot Point,' because that stupid song has absolutely nothing funny about it, but if you can't make it through the song without laughing like a maniac, it's officially time for bed."  Shima paused, watching her sister trying to tame her giggles.  "It's clearly bedtime for Bonzo, if you know what I mean."

            Pipes was making a valiant effort to calm down and stifle her laughter, but she had only succeeded in giving herself the hiccups again. +"Sorry."+ snicker  hic

            "You guys are weird when you're tired."  Mikey grabbed one of the blankets and rolled Pipes in it like a burrito.  "Let's get you home, huh?"  Completely covered and almost completely silent, Mike carried his hiccupping bundle to the manhole and handed her down to Raph.  

Raph unwrapped her, setting her on a cleared patch of ground.  "Stand there.  Don't move.  Be quiet."  She hiccupped.  He glared at her as though she'd done it on purpose.  She hiccupped again.  He shot her a disgusted glare and climbed back up, muttering. "Don't got a sister, got a fuckin' squeaky toy."  He passed the blanket back in an exchange for an armful of Sterling wrapped in that hated afghan.  He wondered briefly if his brothers were making fun of him some how, but dismissed the thought as being paranoid.  He almost handed the thing back in the hopes that it would stay with the van.  But she was shaking like a leaf, so he let her hang onto it.  Besides, there should be a pair of blankets left.  That would be just fine for the two remaining girls.

Swaddled in the comforter, Cabbage watched as Donnie effortlessly passed Shima's bundled form through the manhole to Raphael.  Since it was dark in the tunnel, she didn't feel embarrassed about staring.  'Daaaaamn.  No wonder they're not scared of humans.  They're frickin' Supermen.'  She laughed to herself.  Out loud would have been suicide, since the air lay like manky, moldy carpets in the tunnels.  She had jolted back awake at her first breath underground.  'Ugh!  Smells like trash day at the morgue.  I hope the "lair" doesn't smell like this.'

A few quick rounds of 'rock, paper, scissors' later, Splinter was leading a caravan of encumbered turtles through the sewers.  Raphael grumbled, bringing up the rear.  He had the duffle bag slung across his chest and the cooler in front of him.  He also had the best view.  'If I wanted to watch Mike carry TWO girls.'

The girls had initially protested.  "Our legs aren't broken!  We can walk if you guys can."  

Leonardo sighed.  They were not the only ones who were tired.  He scooped up Sterling, because he knew she'd give him a chance to explain.  She wouldn't like it, but she couldn't drown him in an argument.  The look she shot him could have been used to build igloos.  "Don't be like that, Sis.  You don't have shoes.  You don't have calluses.  You don't know these tunnels.  We're all tired.  Nobody wants to have to set a broken ankle or wrap up a sprain or pull glass out of your feet.  Just sit back and enjoy it.  Once we're home, nobody'll carry anywhere.  Deal?"

Mike used Leo's explanation as a distraction, slipping up behind Cabbage and Pipes.  He slid one arm around the waist of each and pulling them both close to him, he muttered, "I use ancient Ninja art of _Ageru Onna._"  

Shima blinked.  "The art of raising woman?"

Pipes groaned and smacked Mike's shell.  +"The art of picking up women?!"+  She laughed loudly, only to be shushed by Mike's hand across her beak.  

"Sorry, but we gotta be quiet lil' Sis."  He winked at her, "Yeah, it was a lousy joke, but you laughed."

"She'd laugh at a sandwich baggie at this point," Cabbage pointed out dryly.

"Cool."  Mike wrapped his arm around Cabbage's thighs, effectively seating her on his bicep.  "That just means that Leo'll actually—"  He dipped down and wrapped his other arm around Pipes' thighs, sitting her on his other shoulder. "Get some one to laugh at his jokes."

Leo looked over his cranky sister's head.  "I don't tell jokes," he deadpanned.

Pipes laughed so hard, she almost fell off Mike's shoulder.  

Mike just grinned.  "Ok babes, you guys keep your heads down and your arms in.  I'll try not to drop ya."  Cabbage agreed, Pipes giggled, and the caravan started to trudge onward.

Donnie silently picked up Shima.  Hearing Raphael cursing quietly behind him, he followed Mike's looming silhouette.    "I swear you're the only one who doesn't flip out when she's tired."  

Shima shook her head, "No, actually I'm the worst.  I've just been trying real hard to keep it all together."  She grimaced, adjusting the angle of her elbow around the back of his neck.

"Shima, what are you talking about?  You're not Pipes, the Obscenely Easily Amused.  You're not Sterling, the Angriest Papoose on the Planet.  And you're not Cabbage, Space Cadet Extraordinaire.  How are you the worst?"

He shivered as her warm breath tickled his ear.  "Can you keep a secret?"  

Raphael heard only murmurs of conversation from in front of him.  He was lost in his own brooding thoughts.  'Fuckin' cooler.  Fuckin' Mikey and his stupid foo-foo stories.  Carryin' around two girls like he's some kinda SuperAss-tastic Stud-Muffin.  Leo throwin' Sterling around like she's a fuckin' piece of luggage just cause she ain't talkin' right now.  Shit, I'm the reason that she's not talking right now.  Goddamnit.  Just so tired.  Gonna go home and shut out the world for the next 12 hours.  If Leo says the word "practice", I take his little wanker hands off at the wrist.  OH FUCK.  With the girls around, I'll be sleeping on the sofa until we find enough mattresses.  If I'm lucky enough to get the sofa, the way things are going, I'll end up sleeping in the fuckin' cooler…Fuckin' cooler.  Fuckin' Mikey an his –'

Raphael stopped short, trying desperately to catch his balance.  "Donnie!  Watch it!  Why the fuck did you stop?!"  Donnie didn't answer, but there was a low throaty chuckle from Shima.    

kyabetsu here---

so, can you keep a secret? lol.  wink wink.  smiles.  

crap!  I've got an exam in something tomorrow.  Time to find out what it was…. whoops.

enjoy the story!  tell me if you did or if your shoes are too tight or whatever…

I can keep a secret. ;) 


	14. Tree House of the Lost Boys

Never-NeverLand – Chapter 15

            Cabbage tried not to wiggle around too much.  'This can't be comfortable for him.  I'm not exactly well padded.'  She glanced down at the top of her brother's head.  "Spots."  Pipes chuckled quietly.  'I hate it when she's like that.  She sounds like a complete yogurt-head.'

            Raphael's sudden shout unbalanced Cabbage, so her attention was elsewhere when his fussing rolled past her in the tunnel.  Cabbage looked to Pipes who shrugged, but they both heard Shima's husky laughter.  Pipes' eyes grew to the size of saucers; Cabbage could feel herself start to blush.  She looked back, 'Yup, there's Donnie looking like a goosed school girl.'  Cabbage smiled hugely.  Donatello must have seen the white of her teeth, because he was suddenly avoiding eye contact-- with limited results.  Pipes winked, and flashed a thumbs up.  Donatello looked like he wanted the earth to swallow him.  She nearly fell off Mike's other shoulder laughing.

            "Pipe-let, what is it with you?"  Mike paused to readjust her seating.  "Remind me to make waffles in the morning.  You're gonna eat yours with about a quart of ice cream.  We'll get rid of that pointy butt!"

            Pipes was suddenly silent.  'I hate my body.'

            Cabbage reached over and put her hand over her sister's on the back ridge of Mike's shell.  She shook her head as if to say, "Pay no attention to him.  He didn't mean it."  Pipes refused to acknowledge Cabbage's efforts.

            "Wake up, Sterling!  We're here."  Leo stood her upright and shook her shoulders until she opened her eyes.  He made sure she was balanced and then disappeared through the floor.

            "Whaa?"  Sterling shook her head, trying to clear her mind.  'Leo went slowly into the floor.  That can't be right.'

            A light came on down below, illuminating a circular hole with a ladder leading down into it.  'Or up from it, if that's the way fancy takes you.'  Sterling blinked as the ladder blurred into two.  'Twice as handy.  How convenient.'

            Cabbage was suddenly at her side.  "Down there, huh?"  She looked Sterling up and down.  'Damn she's a mess.  She's so groggy, that sedative must still be lingering in her system.'  Cabbage reached over to Sterling's upper arm and gave the triceps muscle a strong pinch and twist.  "Wake up!"

Sterling's eyes shone with pain, rage, and thankfully, lucidity. "NNNNNGGGG!"

Cabbage was on the ladder.  "You can't sleepwalk down one of these without breaking your neck.  You can sleep when you get to the bottom."  She disappeared from view, but not before Sterling mimed stepping on her head.

Sterling followed Cabbage, and was followed by a subdued Pipes.  Mike jumped down, startling the three girls at the bottom.

Pipes forgot about Mike's unintentional insult the instant her head cleared the ceiling of the room beneath.  'LOOK at this place!  There's STUFF everywhere!  It must be bigger than the farmhouse!  The ceilings are so strange; and the lights, why are there so many sockets?  Where did they get all these things?'  She resisted the urge to run her hands over the fabrics hanging off the dummies.   Pipes stared intently at a paint-by-number picture of the 'Last Supper'.  +"Crazy."+  Her attention flitted to the collection of street signs hanging on the walls.  +"Yield, Stop, Right Turn Only, Speed Limit 35, No Parking, No Dumping…"+  She poked the skirt on a hula girl lamp.  'A lamp?'

Sterling pinched herself.  'This is too weird.  What is this place?  The structure seems completed; there's no exposed piping or wiring or ventilation.  So this place was functional once.  But as what?  With all those lighting sockets it must have glowed like summer solstice on Mercury.  The brick mason had some impressive talent to form those arches with a herringbone pattern like that.  That layout is no mean feat. '

Mike grinned like a proud parent.  Pipes and Sterling were clearly awed by the place.  He turned to catch Cabbage's reaction.  She looked strained and overwhelmed; not quite what he'd hoped for.  "So what'd you think?"  He moved her towards the stairs to make room for Shima and Donatello in the entryway.

Cabbage tried to phrase her questions politely, failed, and gave up on trying.  "Where do you guys sleep?  How do you cook?  Where do you bathe?"  She sounded near tears with confusion.  'We came so far, and there are all those humans in the city above keeping us down here, and the tunnels are a maze anyways, and it's so dirty, and the farm was perfect, and…'

Leonardo took her hand.  "There is a bathroom, a kitchen, and a handful of bedrooms all off this main room."  His voice was soothing.  "Why don't you and your sisters wash up and get ready for bed, huh?"  He pointed out a door with a little stick turtle drawn on it.  "There's clean towels in the cupboard."  She nodded and collected her sisters.

Mike shot Leo a look that he completely failed to acknowledge.  'There he goes again.  What's with him?  Cabbage is… aargh!  I _really_ gotta talk to him.  I'm just too tired to mess him up properly right now.'  "Master Splinter gone to bed?"

"Yeah."

"Good, then I got dibs on his recliner."

"Yeah, so thanks for helping me get the cooler down the ladder.  Especially cause I had this huge-ass duffle bag."  Raphael felt cheated.  He'd missed his sisters' first reactions to the Lair because of that fuckin' cooler.  He dropped himself on the couch, stretching out, feet on the arm and throw pillows behind his knees, to make sure he'd staked first claim on it.  'I'm not sleepin' on the fuckin' ground.'  "So Donnie, what was so funny that you forgot how to walk?"

Mike and Leo turned.  Mikey piped up, rolling his shoulders to work the aches out, "Yeah, I couldn't turn around, but she sure sounded tickled."

Raphael smirked drowsily at the ceiling.  "She sounded like she was doing the tickling."

Leonardo cracked Raphael across the souls of his feet with the scabbard of his katana. "Watch what you say about our sister!  And Shima especially.  Maybe the others flirt, but she's been through an awful lot just to deal with your tasteless comments."

Raphael sat up.  "Maybe she's traumatized, Leo, but she ain't dead.   What's tasteless about—"

"JUST SHUT UP!"  Donatello shook with embarrassment and rage.  "Nothing.  Happened.  Just.  Let. It. Alone."  He made to go to his lab.  He had a cot in there.  

Mike blinked; he'd never seen his quiet brother explode like that.  "Don-kun, you gonna be ok…?"

"Yeah.  One of the girls can have my room.  I'll sleep in the lab."  He turned and vanished into his sanctuary.

kyabetsu here—

ok.  out of 30 odd people and 3 chapters Tears erupt from head like twin waterfalls nobody loves me!!!  sniffle  I try not to be hypocritical, I review more often than not when I read.  and I feel cheap asking for reviews.  like straight out.  but I update often because I thought you CARED… room beginning to flood.  cat hides in drop ceiling  even if you just say "boo."  really.  that's enough.  It makes me feel like there's actually some one with a pulse reading these things.  (no insult intended to the undead or the out-right dead.)

so I'm done.  sniffle 

thank you for reading.  regardless of whether or not you review. :)


	15. Good Morning Starshine

Never-NeverLand – Chapter 16                       

Mike fidgeted in the recliner chair.  "I don't know if that was such a great idea, Leo."

Leo looked up from the arm of the sofa where he'd shoved Raph's feet aside to perch for a while.  "Hmm?"  Leo glanced in the direction of Donatello's lab.  "What do you mean, 'idea'?  I wasn't the one teasin' him."  His frown melted into a yawn.

Mikey smacked Raph on the back of his head, jarring him from the light snooze he'd fallen into.  "No.  Not Donnie.  I mean turning all four girls loose in the bathroom at once.  God only knows how long their gonna be in there."  He paused long enough to attempt to swipe the throw pillow out from under Raphael's knees.  Raph's fist caught him in the shoulder.  He pulled back with a wince.  "Though, yeah.  Teasing Donnie was pretty boneheaded."

Raph rolled over to face the back of the couch, pulling the cushion to his chest.  He slowly extended his arm and flipped off the room in general.  'I'm too tired to be clever.  I wish they'd just go to sleep.'

            Mike started humming to himself.  Leo was so zoned out that it didn't phase him, but Raphael lay seething into the cushion.  "Puff the Magic Dragon/ Lived by the Sea/ and, um… mmmmm-hmmm-hmm-hmm-hhhmmmm-something-eeeee."  

            "WILL YOU SHUT UP?"  Raphael hurled the cushion with a deadly accuracy that could only be earned through years of rigorous training.  Mikey caught it easily thanks to the same training.  

            "HA Ha!"  Mike pulled at the corners of his beak, sticking out his tongue.  "I got the cushion!"  He drummed his heels on the floor.  Raphael mumbled a string of inarticulate curses at his brother.  "NYAH nyah nyah!"  Mikey continued to annoy Raphael, just to see if he could get the other throw pillow from him as well.

            "Well, THAT'S attractive."  Cabbage smiled, flashing her dimples.  "The bathroom's all yours."  Leo jumped off the couch, reflexes bringing him straight from drowsing to battle stance without bothering to notify his brain.  

            Mike took his fingers out of his mouth.  "I don't think they're gonna attack, Leo."

            Leo quickly relaxed, but not before shooting a glare at his brother.

            Shima smiled shyly.  Her eyes didn't quite focus; she was clearly in a fog.  She spoke coherently, though.  "It's ok, Leo.  Just show us where we're to sleep and you can call it a day."  She reached to pat his arm casually, her half-lidded eyes at odds with her steady movements and clear speech.  Cabbage's hand darted in, grabbing Shima's wrist.  

            Pipes snickered into her hand.  +"She almost got another one."+  

            Cabbage looked less than thrilled.  She rolled her eyes and pulled Shima away, whispering in her ear.  Mike and Raph exchanged glances.  Leo blinked in confusion.  Pipes sidestepped up to Leo.  +"Leo?  Hello?  You wanna go to bed?"+

            Raphael snorted, "That's an offer you don't hear very often."   He stood up, walking past his brother.  "I got dibs on that couch.  Don't even THINK of swiping it."  He called over his shoulder.  "Com'mon, I'll show you the rooms."  With his sisters in tow, Raphael led them to where he could see all the bedroom doors.  He pointed, "There's four bedrooms: one there, two over there, and one more over there.  Make yourselves at home.  If there's anything in the beds, just throw it on the floor.  G'night."  As he turned to head back to the couch, he snagged the elbow of the last sister he passed.  "What's wrong with Donnie?"

            The silence made him glance at the girl he held.  Sterling stared at him with an expression that clearly said, "What?  You want me to TALK or something?"  

            "Shit.  I got frickin' Marcel Marceau."  She continued to stare, waiting for him to let go.

            'I can answer "yes/no" questions you muscle-bound mutton-head.'  She made a thumbs up/ thumbs down gesture with her free hand.  'Hope he gets it.  I'm so tired.'

            He looked at her blankly.

            'Looks like I'm not the only one who looses brain cells when she's tired.'  Sterling pointed towards the living room, gave a thumbs up, and waved in a gesture of dismissal.  'Hopefully that looked enough like "Don is fine.  It's no big deal." for mutton-man to figure it out.'

            Raph nodded thoughtfully and released her arm.  "G'night."  He was already walking away as she waved.

            She joined her sisters at the nearest door.  

            +"It's a big mattress."+

            "It's filthy."

            +"It's A mattress."+

            "Good enough for me."

            When Raph got back to the living room, Leo had already sprawled out on the sofa.  He and Mike were already fast asleep.  "Goddamn it.  I knew it.  I'm sleepin' on the fuckin' floor."  He wrapped himself in the one remaining blanket from the van.  "…damn afghan…"  It still smelt of her.  "…damn mute…"  He fell asleep with faint scent of honey and cinnamon curling through his mind. 

            Morning practice was at noon.  Splinter pushed them through an extremely rigorous session.  Donnie couldn't have been happier.  He really didn't want to deal with his brothers this morning.  'What the hell did she—'

            "Uf!"  Don looked up from the mat.  The length of Leonardo's bokken pointed down at his throat.

            Splinter sighed.  "Donatello, please focus."

            "Hai, sensei."  

Leo gave him a concerned glance, and pulled him to his feet.  Before Leo could ask anything, Splinter clapped his hands.  "Again."

"RIGHTY-OH!  It's breakfast time!"  Mike had it all figured out: chocolate chip waffles with raspberry sauce ('Or blue-berry, depends on what's in the freezer.'), bacon, eggs, and orang--.  "Shit!  We're outta Orange juice.  Phew!  And fresh milk."  Mike pulled his head out of the fridge.  "LEO!  Grab your wallet, dude.  I need you to go to the store!"

"Why me Mike?" 

"Cause you're the only one with money right now."

 "Donnie's got cash."

"It's quicker to argue with you than to pry Donnie away from his square-headed girlfriend."  Leo's confusion forced him to elaborate.  "You know-- the computer."  Leo rolled his eyes. 

"Fine, I'll go get food.  Put together a list."  He left to bundle up.  'That's the one nice thing about winter; nobody looks twice if you're completely covered, even in the daytime.'

Don deleted all spam that made it through his email filters.  He read the network logs.  He checked the forums, the newsletter pages, the online comics, and the counter on his own webpage. 

"Today, the ritual held no comfort."  Don grimaced.  "Shit, no more of Mikey's movies."  His little brother had recently been infatuated with Jim Henson's Movies: 'The Dark Crystal,' 'The Labrynith,' anything with Fraggles in it.  Every time Don passed through the living room, some Muppet or other squawked or shrieked or gibbered at him from the TV.  "No more, if I have to hide the tapes until he forgets about 'em."

Don hung his head.  'Mike's not the problem.'

She was bundled in a blanket with one arm out and wrapped around the back of his neck.  I held her against my chest.  There's just not much to her, so I held her tight; if I dropped her, she might shatter.  

_She's the only one of my sisters that I've had any kind of real conversation with.  Sterling and I have played plenty of chess games, but when we talk it's competitive somehow.  Shima actually seems to listen.  It'll be great to have someone around that listens without rolling their eyes at me.  Splinter encourages me, but half the time, I know he's just letting me ramble.  Leo pretends like he cares about why the things that I've made work the way they do.   Mike and Raph couldn't care less.  I'm just supposed to fix things and take shit for being the family 'nerd.'  _

_Shima never once made me feel like I was talking to someone I'd trapped in a conversation.  She genuinely cared about my ideas.  If she didn't understand, she said so and then kept asked intelligent questions about it until she did.  I've always wanted a friend like that…_

He smiled as he brought up his SNES game emulator.

Raphael toweled himself off, thinking longingly of his discman and the new CD waiting in his room.  'Don finally fixed my junkyard CD-player.  I finally got enough spare cash for the NIN CD that I've wanted since forever.  Casey finally got off his lazy butt and picked up the damn thing from the mall.  And now it's in my room.  With a sister.'  

He dropped his towel on the floor by the hamper.  'Well, am I a ninja or not?'  He smiled.  'S'my room.  Nothin' wrong with goin' into my room.'  His grin broadened. 

"Hey Mikey!  Have you seen the girls today?"  Raph burst into the kitchen, looking around like he expected his sisters to be hiding behind the appliances.  

Mike pulled his head out of the freezer.  "Nope.   Would you like raspberry or blueberry sauce with your waffles?"

"Then they're mis—Wha?  Mike.  Put the berries down for a second.  I can't find our sisters."

Mike was wide-eyed.  "They're not Don's lab, or the Dojo, or the bathroom, or the bedrooms?  Are they with Master Splinter?"  Raph glared at his brother.

"No Mikey, they're actually in the living room with frickin' Paul Simon, I just wanted to see the face you'd make if you thought they were GONE.  GONE, MIKEY, in the MIDDLE of the DAY."  

"Ok.  Ok.  I'll go get my 'chucks.   You go tell Master Splinter.  Does Donnie know?"

"Yeah, I know."  Donatello stood in the doorway with his bo staff.  "So does Master Splinter."

"Right.  I'll be right there…"  Mike dashed off to his room.  He returned at a walk and without his nunchucks.  "Raph, your thorough search missed the four girls asleep in my room."  

"What?!"  He followed his brothers to his room with his hands behind his head and a skip in his step.

"I don't believe it."  

"Shit."

Mike leaned against his doorframe.  He was gonna burn this scene into his mind if it meant staring all day.  His full-sized futon was a jumble of blankets and petite green limbs.  His sisters had used each other as pillows, so Shima's head rested on the back of Pipes' thigh while her body was rolled on her side in a little ball.  The tiniest tip of her tail stuck out from the base of her shell.  'Talk about a tease!'  Pipes lay face down, tucked into the crook of Sterling's arm. 'Sterling's got legs that just don't END.  Raph better get his head out of his ass.  She's a hottie!'  Cabbage sprawled across the remainder of the bed, her head hanging over the edge, but her beautiful legs over Sterling's stomach.  'God, I wanna wake up to that someday.  Her legs resting on my body—' Mike stopped that train of thought; it was almost painful.  Since her head and shoulders rolled over the edge of the futon, he noticed that the flesh from under her plastron had slid downward, forming two soft curves between her collarbones and her chest plating.  'What'daya know… they do have breasts…'

His room held their fragrance now.  It was faint, but it hit Mike's hindbrain like a bell.  He sat just breathing it in for a few moments before his mind wandered… 'Four nekkid girls.  Nekkid turtle girls.  In my bed.'  He'd had fantasies of course, many times, and well before the past weekend.  Now this was different; it was REAL.  'This is four nekkid turtle girls in my bed… the stuff wet dreams are made of…'  Mikey smile spread from one end of his face to the other as he pictured Sterling's dance.  His eyes shut as he relived the feeling of the massage on his body.  He sighed happily as he heard Pipes and CABBAGE's voices "+'Cause we WANT to!+"  Shivers ran down into his shell.

Raphael and Don stood some distance away and spoke in whispers.  "Why the hell are they all in one bed like that?  We offered 'em four."  'I wouldn't have had to sleep on the floor if I'd known.'

Don shrugged.  "Yeah, I know, and three of them were cleaner than this sty.  But then, why do they do anything?"  He paused as Shima's face flashed across his mind.  "I'll go tell Master Splinter that we found 'em."

Raph frowned at Mike.  "I swear he's drooling.  Yeah, go on and tell Sensei it was a false alarm.  I'll relocate the fool to the kitchen."

Donnie grinned, "You sounded like Mr. T there for a second."

"Heh.  I piddy da foo.'"  Raph cracked his knuckles and prepared to burst Mikey's bubble.


	16. Klunkerbell

HELLO!!! bet you thought I was dead, huh?  well I'm not.  I was doing ~*important*~ things… um… Let's see.  I counted all the pebbles in Wales.  I ran the Iditorod.  I invented velvet.  I prank-called Michael Jackson.  Everyday.  For a month.  And I gave away my entire collection of parking tickets.  (You want one?  Gotta catch'em all!)  … I can tell that you are not impressed with my list of alternate hobbies, so I'll just let you read the next chapter.  

NeverNeverLand—Chapter 17

            "Ya didn't have to hit me like that, Raph."  Mike rubbed his shoulder while he waited for the microwave to thaw the raspberries.  'I'm gonna have a bruise.'

            Raphael smirked across a cup of coffee.  "Yeah, yeah.  Damn, you're a whiny little bitch this morning.  And I did too have to hit you; they're not in one of your fuckin' porno mags, Mike.  They deserve some privacy."

            Mike wheeled around.  "Funny, that doesn't sound like the guy who was drooling over Sterling's performance the other night."

            Raph stood up, favorite little brother or not, he wasn't gonna let that go.  "She CHOSE to dance.  They EXPECTED to sleep without their _brother_ jerkin' off in the doorway!" 

            Mike spun round and shoved Raph sharply into the side of the fridge. He landed with a hollow crack.  The fiberglass coating along the side of the appliance now bore a shell-shaped dent.  Raphael threw his arms out, trying to catch himself on something and stay upright.  Yet even as Raph went sprawling, he hooked his brother's feet out from under him, forcing Mike to join him in his struggle for balance.

            "You.  Take. That. Back."

            "NO WAY IN HELL---"

            "EYAAAAAH!!!!!"  The scream echoed through the lair, stopping Raph and Mike cold.  They traded confused glances.

            "The Girls."

            Fight forgotten, they dashed for Mikey's bedroom.

            Weapons drawn and adrenaline surging, they arrived at the doorway right at Donatello went to open it.  They scanned the area; no visible threat.  They nodded to Donnie.  He called out as he slowly opened the door, "You ok in there?"

            A gray furry streak shot out of the room, jumping from the floor to the top of the sofa and up onto the ledge, which ran along the subway tunnel wall.  It wound its way past the empty glass bottles, storage boxes, lawn ornaments, and general clutter, and curled up on top of a tall bookcase in the living room area.

            "Klunk?"  Mike put his head in the room.  "What happened?"

            Cabbage sat there wide-eyed and panting.  "…ATE my FEET… woke up… pain, attacking my FEET… CAT biting my toes…"

            Her sisters were wide-awake as well, but laughter choked off their attempts to clarify the situation.  Cabbage swatted at Pipes with the edge of her blanket.  "Oh, shut up.  You know I hate cats!"  

            Pipes rolled out of range, +"EEEEeeee!  There's a big, evil, kitty-cat nibbling my toes!!"+

            "Ooo!  You'd whup scream too whup-whup if it woke you from a sound sleep!  Get back here!"

            Shima grinned at her sisters.  She turned from them and addressed her brothers in the doorway.  "We didn't wake you, did we?"  Cabbage flogged her in the back of the head with the comforter.  "UF!  Will you two knock it off?"

            Donnie returned the grin, "Naw, we've been awake.  I'm just glad we didn't wake you."

            Mike silently repeated Cabbage's words in his mind.  "You're afraid of cats?"

            "No.  I HATE cats."  Cabbage stretched and yawned.  "That one startled me.  Usually, I just avoid the little bastards."

            Mikey was torn.  Klunk bothered his brothers from time to time, but Klunk was still his little buddy.  Nobody really liked Klunk, except for Michelangelo, but the cat kept the bug and mouse population down.  Mike had nearly knocked Raph's teeth out the first time he caught him sticking strips of tape to the poor little fuzzball.  'Protective' did not begin to cover Mike's feelings for his little Klunk-bud.  But this was CABBAGE, his sister, and the cutest thing on two legs.  "Why?"

            Cabbage stood up and pulled a less than thrilled Sterling up off the mattress.  "Do you have any idea how many of those things I've taken apart?  If I wasn't splitting the seams on one of them, the humans had me injectin' 'em with somethin' or other, or burning brain lesions, or severing various major nerve groups, or preppin' them for surgery, or changing their IV's."  Cabbage shivered.  "They were never glad to see me.  I was never glad to see them.  At first I felt bad about hurting them, but they never felt bad about hurting me when they tired to get away."  She looked at Mike and smiled, dimpling for all she was worth.  "I hate cats because they make me remember all the terrible things the humans made me do."

            For the first time, her smile completely failed to warm Michelangelo.  'It's fake.  Not always, but she still uses it that way.  I wonder how many times I've missed that.'  Mike looked up at Klunk as the little gray blob stared down at them.  "Oh."  He pushed his thoughts away.  They confused him, and hinted that he might have to choose. 

            Raphael rammed his sai back into their place on his belt.  "All that over the goddamn cat."  He marched off to his room, calling over his shoulder, "Mike?  You gonna finish breakfast, or just let it burn?"

            Mike tore off toward the kitchen before any further words could be said about the cat.

yes.  I'm sorry.  I missed you too.  I'll never let it happen again.  I'll just sit here in front of the word-processor and play Shaharizade to your fanfiction Sultan-ry.  (ha! ha!)  ok.  seriously.  truly sorry about the time lag.  I hate it when other authors do it.  Just quit sending Mousers to my house.  I promise I'll do better.  Oh.  and yes.  My cat DOES try to eat my feet when he's mad at me -- or bored, or playful, or confused, or hyper, or strung out on catnip, or feels like chicken tonight… 


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